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How do you deal with your feelings of being unfaithful to your spouse?

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  • How do you deal with your feelings of being unfaithful to your spouse?

    You talk to her / him and you try to get it out of your system in Interpals if that does not work :/

  • #2
    It's probably best if you work on not getting into that position in the first place! However, if you succumb to your stupidity then it would be best to grab the bull by the horns and talk it out with the one you have betrayed, just be prepared for the fallout from your bomb. Best if you pack a bag before opening your mouth!

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    • #3
      keep it to yourself.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by jadedlady64 View Post
        keep it to yourself.

        Is that from experience??

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        • #5
          I think i agree with cindy..keep it to yourself than you destroy the relationship

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Ayunaren View Post
            I think i agree with cindy..keep it to yourself than you destroy the relationship

            Surely, in some ways, if you go out philandering then your relationship is already in danger. If you keep it to yourself and get found out later then that relationship is sure as hell---over!
            Plus if you have done it once and kept it to yourself without exposure, then there is a good chance you will do it again!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Ayunaren View Post
              I think i agree with cindy..keep it to yourself than you destroy the relationship
              Well...the relationship is already destroyed! Cindy is a jaded lady (!) so her advice is...questionable. I agree with Machlud: be honest, be straight and tell her. Don't forget to reserve a room at a hotel. This will be a very difficult time in your relationship but it may survive if both of you want that.


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              • #8
                seems to me garbage in garbage out
                its all dependent on your mindset. if your watching porn all day long then your gonna think every woman probably wants to jump in the sack with you and you will try to make opportunities happen . if your not Harvey weinstein then its occasionally going to happen that seeing or interacting with some women will bring naughty thoughts to the front of your mind. the issue is not acting on those thoughts and valuing the relationship you already have. remember your a man you have the ability to think and reason your not a bull that needs to rut with every cow in the field .if you have been unfaithful then i'd say your goose is cooked its probably just a matter of time. you might be able to save the situation if your upfront right away and beg for your miserable life. depends on the two people involved whether they want to work it out or not. but the odds are good that you better start looking for a cheap hotel room
                p.s. maybe thats why God gave us a conscience to bug us until we had to do something about it
                Last edited by chardie; 09-02-2018, 02:09 AM.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ayunaren View Post
                  I think i agree with cindy..keep it to yourself than you destroy the relationship
                  I think the same. I know a couple where he confessed to her that he cheated (while being in a foreign country as a soldier) in his twenties.
                  Three decades later she still reminds him. He did tell her about his fling out of egoistic reasons in my opinion. He wanted absolution from her to relieve his bad conscious.
                  ....his egoism throws an additional shadow on their relationship until today.

                  So, if you do such stupidity then at least shut up and live with it.

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                  • #10
                    It seems to be the general consensus of opinion from these posts, that it is usually the man who goes astray! but I have known many relationship breakups where it has been the woman that went a wandering, and sometimes, as in my own first marriage, leaving the kids behind!

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                    • #11
                      @ all

                      If keeping it to ourselves is worse and telling the truth is worst because it can be a shadow..what is the best way?

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ayunaren View Post
                        @ all

                        If keeping it to ourselves is worse and telling the truth is worst because it can be a shadow..what is the best way?

                        You have to follow your own concsience and do whatever you think is for the best. If it was me I would own up to it and take the consequences.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Machlud View Post
                          It seems to be the general consensus of opinion from these posts, that it is usually the man who goes astray! but I have known many relationship breakups where it has been the woman that went a wandering, and sometimes, as in my own first marriage, leaving the kids behind!
                          no, it only seems to be consensus among women in this thread that you should live with your guilt alone instead of hurting your spouse even more by relieving your conscience.

                          Yes, women do it too. But they eventually don't expect their spouses to have some sort of forgiveness/giving absolution.

                          The best thing is you rather think twice before you hurt the one person you want to share your life with for a little bit of extra fun.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Machlud View Post


                            You have to follow your own concsience and do whatever you think is for the best. If it was me I would own up to it and take the consequences.
                            All of you are older than me...i dont know the journey of life later..does it mean there is no the best way when the consequence is no forgiveness...the thing that i learnt by reading those posts is "to keep silent and keep it to ourselves when we cheated
                            Last edited by Ayunaren; 09-02-2018, 04:10 PM.

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                            • #15
                              Its a matter of who, why and worth? If I didnt like her at, that would be zilly vut a few times in my life Its worth it

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