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Should Men Pay On The First Date?

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  • #61
    I will always pay for the first date unless the girl is very insistent on splitting the bill or paying (although I've never experienced the latter 2 scenarios before; girls over here are mostly happy to be shown a bit of chivalry on first dates, but they are also quite independent and will tend to want to share the bill/ pay for their guy later on). Personally, I just think of it as a subtle way of saying to the other person, "Thank you for the pleasure of your company this evening. The least I could do is buy you a meal."

    A childhood friend told me a story of how a guy in college once asked her out. They did the usual "safe" first date stuff (dinner + movie). The guy paid for everything without objection. However, after the movie ended, he turned to her and told her how much she owed him - 50% of what they had spent that night! Needless to say, that was the first and last time he got a date with her. She was very insulted that he acted like he was going to foot everything, only to tell her at the end of the night that they were going Dutch - especially because she would've willingly agreed to go Dutch if told in advance.

    Moral of the story: Boys, just fess up to your girl at the start of the date if you can't/ won't pay for her, see how she reacts and then take it from there.
    Last edited by ThorFolklore; 07-15-2017, 05:32 PM.

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    • #62
      Honestly, it does not matter to me one way or the other. Since it is tradition I will always assume that I am paying and leave it optional for the girl. The only thing that is confusing is that there are some women who offer to pay but get offended when you do not stop them while others that will get offended if you do try to stop them.
      Last edited by Dark-Matter; 07-15-2017, 07:40 PM.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by Dark-Matter View Post
        Honestly, it does not matter to me one way or the other. Since it is tradition I will always assume that I am paying and leave it optional for the girl. The only thing that is confusing is that there are some women who offer to pay but get offended when you do not stop them while others that will get offended if you do try to stop them.
        Haha, agreed.

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        • #64
          Jesus treats.

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          • #65
            Originally posted by ThorFolklore View Post
            I will always pay for the first date unless the girl is very insistent on splitting the bill or paying (although I've never experienced the latter 2 scenarios before; girls over here are mostly happy to be shown a bit of chivalry on first dates, but they are also quite independent and will tend to want to share the bill/ pay for their guy later on). Personally, I just think of it as a subtle way of saying to the other person, [I]"Thank you for the pleasure of your company this evening. The least I could do is buy you a meal."
            I am the insistent type ahaha. I paid for taxi rides and food at times when my boyfriend came to visit me in Singapore. He even admitted he got a bit annoyed because he had wanted to pay for everything but I was just not letting him.

            Originally posted by ThorFolklore View Post
            A childhood friend told me a story of how a guy in college once asked her out. They did the usual "safe" first date stuff (dinner + movie). The guy paid for everything without objection. However, after the movie ended, he turned to her and told her how much she owed him - 50% of what they had spent that night! Needless to say, that was the first and last time he got a date with her. She was very insulted that he acted like he was going to foot everything, only to tell her at the end of the night that they were going Dutch - especially because she would've willingly agreed to go Dutch if told in advance.
            restless dude probably kept thinking of a thousand scenarios on how to get the princess to pay back those precious malaysian ringgit of his and felt like he would be haunted forever if he were to even miss the opportunity of asking her to go Dutch. Alas his Dutch printed ass failed big time and tragically lost a vagina hug that fateful day lel

            Originally posted by ThorFolklore View Post
            Moral of the story: Boys, just fess up to your girl at the start of the date if you can't/ won't pay for her, see how she reacts and then take it from there.
            I would pay for it hahaha. But if he expects me to pay every single time, boy I'm out. I ain't gonna be a broke ass and live on bread crumbs everyday

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
              I am the insistent type ahaha. I paid for taxi rides and food at times when my boyfriend came to visit me in Singapore. He even admitted he got a bit annoyed because he had wanted to pay for everything but I was just not letting him.
              Weren't you supposed to go visit him in China or something? Or has that already happened?

              Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
              restless dude probably kept thinking of a thousand scenarios on how to get the princess to pay back those precious malaysian ringgit of his and felt like he would be haunted forever if he were to even miss the opportunity of asking her to go Dutch. Alas his Dutch printed ass failed big time and tragically lost a vagina hug that fateful day lel
              What made his behaviour even more pathetic is that he's rather well off (whereas my friend isn't) and I believe he went to further his studies in Australia after college. Definitely a Scrooge McDuck, that one.

              Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
              I would pay for it hahaha. But if he expects me to pay every single time, boy I'm out. I ain't gonna be a broke ass and live on bread crumbs everyday
              I think that expecting someone to pay for stuff every single time is just plain ridiculous, regardless of your gender. Nobody should be reduced to living on bread crumbs just to get a hot date (even if there's bumping uglies involved).

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              • #67
                Originally posted by koso123 View Post

                In Scandinavia it is pretty much the opposite: Men and women are both financially independent and the standard of living is generally very high and the genders are more or less equal. No one has the need to show that they have money, as everyone has money regardless of their gender. Showing off would look just tacky and tasteless and as if the guy was trying to cover his bad looks or poor conversation skills by just paying in the end. I think it's nice and practical that everyone pays for their own bills and therefor can order whatever they want on the menu. And if you want to impress your date, don't do it with money, that will only turn against you and make you look bad. At least in Scandinavia, I have similar experiences in Belgium and Germany too but the opposite experience in Russia.
                I get that, but even in traditional situations there is equality like equal voice, equal under the law etc, but it used to be a mark of pride for men to show off how well he could provide. Like a competetion. It's not that she's less. It just seems the natural order of things for economic growth, innovation, etc was this idea of competition.

                I'm so thankful I do not live in Sweden. oh and just before anyone prejudices. We've been through times where he'stands lost his job and struggled, to working and making a decent wage. We've been through thick and thin and still married after 16 years. He provides for the family well, not rich, but decent. I am equal because I have equal value not less.

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                • #68
                  Yeah what you are gonna ask her

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                  • #69
                    I think the fairest idea would be the person doing the asking out (or picking the date location) should be the one to pay for it, regardless of gender.
                    "listen: there's a hell
                    of a good universe next door;let's go."

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                    • #70
                      Absouulouuttloeeyyy! at least that's what gentlemen dooooiii hehe
                      Children of the Universe

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                      • #71
                        Well, I think he should pay. Anyway he's man. I know it's not argument. But by this he shows his masculinity and how he cares of girl. If their relationship is serious and about 1-2 years and got used to each other then it doesn't matter who pays.
                        ​Above other commentators tell about equality. In out society in Kazakhstan yes, we say that there is equality, but anyway east mentality is dominant and men are considered as a protecter and provider. And the responsibilities or tasks aren't splitted 50/50.

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by ThorFolklore View Post
                          Weren't you supposed to go visit him in China or something? Or has that already happened?
                          I haven't gone to China yet la, but he wants me to come next month sia. But I agak-agak not going cos need tell my parents, sian

                          Originally posted by ThorFolklore View Post
                          What made his behaviour even more pathetic is that he's rather well off (whereas my friend isn't) and I believe he went to further his studies in Australia after college. Definitely a Scrooge McDuck, that one.
                          Alamak, confirm he will ask her pay for th condom too. This bodoh can balik kampong already la ahahah, no hope already. Scrooge McDuck AHAHAHAHHAHA. Can chop off his webbed feet and sell to McDonald already la, since he so stingy also want money. This ah long so Malu sia

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                          • #73
                            In Indian tradition, paying first bill, or any as part of respect not Ego, after that it will b depends on your understanding with your date,,

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
                              I haven't gone to China yet la, but he wants me to come next month sia. But I agak-agak not going cos need tell my parents, sian


                              Alamak, confirm he will ask her pay for th condom too. This bodoh can balik kampong already la ahahah, no hope already. Scrooge McDuck AHAHAHAHHAHA. Can chop off his webbed feet and sell to McDonald already la, since he so stingy also want money. This ah long so Malu sia
                              Too much singlish in one post

                              Is that how one acts on intetnational forum, loh
                              Why is it called a tourist season if we're not supposed to hunt them?

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
                                I haven't gone to China yet la, but he wants me to come next month sia. But I agak-agak not going cos need tell my parents, sian
                                Aiyah, I think you just kiss your China trip goodbye lor, ah lian... No need to agak-agak going or not going already lah, you just ask him to curi-curi come and meet you at Sentosa there can already. I know you very sien, but bo bian because Asian parents sia, dun play-play with them! Later suay suay they dun approve of him then your uncles/ aunties/ ah ma/ ah kong all suan you.

                                Originally posted by Richa_ View Post
                                Alamak, confirm he will ask her pay for th condom too. This bodoh can balik kampong already la ahahah, no hope already. Scrooge McDuck AHAHAHAHHAHA. Can chop off his webbed feet and sell to McDonald already la, since he so stingy also want money. This ah long so Malu sia
                                Lol, you made him sound like a real Chinaman. That ah long only had a college student's lanciao when this happened lor, almost 10 years ago. I think right, now surely a lot a lot worse one!

                                Speaking of bodohs balik kampung, I'm curious, got space in SG for kampungs meh? Dun bullshit me with some sohai story ah. Gua si limpeh! Hahahaha!
                                Last edited by ThorFolklore; 07-17-2017, 08:13 PM.

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