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  • Usual frequency of replies

    Oh, this is going to sound like the neediest thing, but I've been having trouble getting replies back to messages. Of the last 7 messages I sent, 1 got a reply. I'm not certain if this is just to be expected, or if there's something wrong with me or the way I approach people.

    Generally, I approach people around my own age from nearby timezones. Might be worth mentioning that I've generally been messaging girls, not with romantic intentions, but just because I've gotten along much better with girls since I was 4. Mostly, I look for people with similar interests or anything else I can find in common.

    Here's an example of one message, so perhaps there's something wrong with that. I mean, it certainly seems quite awkward.

    "Hi, you seemed quite interesting, I'd love to chat. How do you like Latvia? The only place there I've been to was Riga and I loved it."

    So anyway, I'd be glad if anyone could tell me that I'm actually being a horrible [redacted] without realising and bothering these poor people.
    Last edited by SiimTont; 10-11-2018, 07:04 PM. Reason: Removed vulgarities as per forum rules.

  • #2
    You are asking a question that has been answered many times on the fora. Since it has been asked many times, you may infer that it is normal to receive few responses.

    "Hi you seemed quite interesting" also can be seen as a rather personal remark. Women get many such messages. Quite a lot have bad intentions.
    You might consider writing that their profile interested you.
    "I'd love to chat" also is the approach by quite a lot of scammers. In addition, it is a rather self-centred approach: you love that, but does the other person.
    You also seem to jump on the subject of Latvia. I have no idea what made you write that. If you write it to someone from Latvia, it is a rather annoying question.
    If you write it to someone who stated to have been there, maybe you should refer to it. It suggests you are interested in their story. Now, you give the impression that you just want to send your message.

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    • #3
      Alright, fair. I wasn't really aware that message could be simultaenously construed as bad-intentioned, self-centred and plain annoying. I suppose I really can't talk to people, even in writing.

      I sort of assumed that a person would take for granted that the interesting part was the profile, given that I have never seen anything else of them. I've also noticed that people tend to have an opinion about where they live, people I've spoken to online have often spoken for long times about really interesting sides of a country I'd never had considered, or sometimes just talked about where they'd like to be instead.

      So anyway, i suppose I should stay away from online messaging for a while, I didn't know I was that bad.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by SiimTont View Post
        Alright, fair. I wasn't really aware that message could be simultaenously construed as bad-intentioned, self-centred and plain annoying. I suppose I really can't talk to people, even in writing.

        I sort of assumed that a person would take for granted that the interesting part was the profile, given that I have never seen anything else of them. I've also noticed that people tend to have an opinion about where they live, people I've spoken to online have often spoken for long times about really interesting sides of a country I'd never had considered, or sometimes just talked about where they'd like to be instead.

        So anyway, i suppose I should stay away from online messaging for a while, I didn't know I was that bad.
        You can take that approach. Alternatively, you could learn. Just do not expect to receive an answer to every message and consider the recipient of your message looks at it from a very different perspective.

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