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  • Originally posted by murcat View Post

    if a woman wants to have a smart, financially stable , reliable, responsible man by her side, it doesn't mean she is a gold digger

    I believe women exactly want such type of men, I agree with you that this wish does not turn a woman into a gold digger. On the other hand, men also wish for responsible, reliable partners who do not view them just as a source of their income. Who wants a lazy, irresponsible, non smart guy unable to have financial stability? No sane woman does. Who wants someone who views them just as a wallet? No sane man does either.

    Originally posted by murcat View Post
    the crucial word - "enjoy" .... But there are millions of women, who don't enjoy it much, they would eagerly prefer staying at home , spending time on their families, their health to doing a monotonous routine , which their jobs represent in most cases. There are women, who openly admit it and there are working hypocrites as well, who silently are envious of housewives or single women, who don't have to earn money with sweat on her forehead like a hardworking horse.


    I think these are extremes. Everything done as usual activities becomes a routine, including staying at home and other activities if a person doesn't work. we all live with certain routines, things are not just black and white. I doubt there are lots of blockheaded women who work like horses in order to support a good for nothing man and I doubt that men appreciate the mentality that they alone must be responsible about finance either. In a usual world, not some imaginary one.



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    • Am I the only one who's annoyed with the amount of word "worthless" and all the judging here? I think couple should have roughly equal contribution to the relationship, but they should contribute according to what they can, what they're good at, etc. If one is good in earning money and the other at cooking then let them do what they can. Every household has different arrangement and I prefer to see the couples as partners, who are capable of deciding how they'd take care of their own family. Not wife should pay this amount and husband should do this and this and this. As long as they manage things together, why judge them? If they can afford to have one of them stay at home and the other is okay with it, why do we feel the need to criticise them?

      One of my aunts decided to stay at home after she had a kid, because what she really wanted was to actually spend time and raise her children on her own, rather than let them babysat in their whole childhood or grow up in a day care. Before marriage, her income was even higher than my uncle's. Was she a worthless princess after, just because she doesn't earn any? I don't think so. It's just a choice she took because she could. Not everyone has the same ambition in life. If you have a thriving career and earn a lot of money that's good for you, but don't expect everyone to be the same.

      If both of them work, good. If one of them stay at home (as long as they can afford that), that's good too. Just so long as they both contribute to their household, no matter in what form.

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      • Originally posted by Etsia View Post

        I doubt that men appreciate the mentality that they alone must be responsible about finance either. [/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR]
        Let men be responsible for giving birth and raising kids then as well as for cooking, cleaning and all that household crap, if they don't want to be the breadwinners in a family. In other words, let them turn into women.

        Most men, who talk about equality with women, the equal partnership and equal contribution , are actually unable to support even themselves, not to mention their future families. That's why all they can do is whining about how greedy and mercenary all the women are, who sleep and dream about their thick wallets. ))

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        • Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post
          Am I the only one who's annoyed with the amount of word "worthless" and all the judging here? I think couple should have roughly equal contribution to the relationship, but they should contribute according to what they can, what they're good at, etc. If one is good in earning money and the other at cooking then let them do what they can. Every household has different arrangement and I prefer to see the couples as partners, who are capable of deciding how they'd take care of their own family. Not wife should pay this amount and husband should do this and this and this. As long as they manage things together, why judge them? If they can afford to have one of them stay at home and the other is okay with it, why do we feel the need to criticise them?

          One of my aunts decided to stay at home after she had a kid, because what she really wanted was to actually spend time and raise her children on her own, rather than let them babysat in their whole childhood or grow up in a day care. Before marriage, her income was even higher than my uncle's. Was she a worthless princess after, just because she doesn't earn any? I don't think so. It's just a choice she took because she could. Not everyone has the same ambition in life. If you have a thriving career and earn a lot of money that's good for you, but don't expect everyone to be the same.

          If both of them work, good. If one of them stay at home (as long as they can afford that), that's good too. Just so long as they both contribute to their household, no matter in what form.
          That's correct. The only thing that must be criticized is the attitude that people can be viewed as wallets not as people. If it's ok for a couple, it's their choice how they live and contribute to the family. My mother has also been a housewife, my father always supported the whole family, they were both fine about it. Mother didn't want to stay at home but had to due to illness and father was always good at financial support.

          Princesses are those who demand things like - this must be like this, a man must always earn, a woman must always stay at home, but many possible variations are possible as you said. princesses do not take men as equal partners whom they share their life with, it doesn't matter what a person do - stay at home, work if there is mutual respect and agreements on how people in a family live, it's fine.

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          • Originally posted by Etsia View Post

            That's correct. The only thing that must be criticized is the attitude that people can be viewed as wallets not as people. If it's ok for a couple, it's their choice how they live and contribute to the family. My mother has also been a housewife, my father always supported the whole family, they were both fine about it. Mother didn't want to stay at home but had to due to illness and father was always good at financial support.

            Princesses are those who demand things like - this must be like this, a man must always earn, a woman must always stay at home, but many possible variations are possible as you said. princesses do not take men as equal partners whom they share their life with, it doesn't matter what a person do - stay at home, work if there is mutual respect and agreements on how people in a family live, it's fine.
            Thanks for clarifying. The respect part is mandatory, of course. One shouldn't treat their partner just as a wallet or maid or slave or anything worthless.

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            • Originally posted by Etsia View Post

              a woman must always stay at home,
              A woman must have a choice whether to stay at home or work. Unfortunately, she's got one single option "to work" with no other alternative due to a financially unstable husband.

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              • Originally posted by murcat View Post
                no woman or almost no woman would work , if she could afford herself financially to stay at home . A normal woman will never get bored, because there are lots of things, she would do
                no man or almost no man would work, if he could afford himself financially to stay at home. A normal man will never be bored, because there are lots of things he would do.
                ....you should respect men as normal human beings. Maybe ask them what they would do, when they would win the lottery. As if men would love their jobs more than women.
                And I can assure you that many women rather have a job and pay a household help, because their job brings more fun and credit then the household.

                Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post
                If both of them work, good. If one of them stay at home (as long as they can afford that), that's good too. Just so long as they both contribute to their household, no matter in what form.
                I agree - and this includes that the man can be the one who stays at home too....so long as he contributes to the household/family.

                Originally posted by Hades91 View Post
                Therefor is an community property agreement before marriage a must have for a man nowadays.
                If a man expects a woman to agree in such a contract and to stay at home (with the children) - then he is an asshole. Because it is a pretty damn risk to quit on your career.....even without such a contract.


                In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

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                • Originally posted by murcat View Post
                  A woman must have a choice whether to stay at home or work. Unfortunately, she's got one single option "to work" with no other alternative due to a financially unstable husband.
                  it is unfair when only the women have the choice and the men don't.
                  In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

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                  • Originally posted by Suna123 View Post
                    ...........
                    If a man expects a woman to agree in such a contract and to stay at home (with the children) - then he is an asshole. Because it is a pretty damn risk to quit on your career.....even without such a contract.
                    ............
                    Correct, she has to work. A partnership isn't cherry picking. Fortunately most women are ambitious and want to work. After maternity leave can she work further on her career, Independent from her man. This is what women want? To have the equal chances.
                    In case if the relationship goes wrong and she get the kids, alimony for the kids aren't affected through community property agreement.
                    I find this is only fair.

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                    • Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                      Correct, she has to work. A partnership isn't cherry picking. Fortunately most women are ambitious and want to work. After maternity leave can she work further on her career, Independent from her man. This is what women want? To have the equal chances.
                      In case if the relationship goes wrong and she get the kids, alimony for the kids aren't affected through community property agreement.
                      I find this is only fair.
                      she gets only alimony for the child not for herself (as it was the case in earlier times). Reality is single parents are the poorest of society. Without a partner it is much harder to work with a child. Or do you think alimony replaces the partner?
                      And how about sharing parental leave? We have three years per child here.
                      Last edited by Suna123; 01-11-2017, 07:40 PM.
                      In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                        Fortunately most women are ambitious and want to work. .
                        a woman's ambitiousness is important only for weak men

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                        • Being a woman i believe i should be more comfortable being the queen of an empire i have contributed in building,waiting for a man to build it all them i pop in just to enjoy his sweat is being a parasite,unless i have met him already established which i should contribute in maintaining and managing it,after all a woman should be a helper not a guest or audience,and what a man can do,a woman can do better...

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                          • Originally posted by Suna123 View Post

                            it is unfair when only the women have the choice and the men don't.
                            men also have a choice - to marry women with your outlook , for example, who will gladly provide for them, doing all the housework with servility ))

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                            • Originally posted by murcat View Post

                              men also have a choice - to marry women with your outlook , for example, who will gladly provide for them, doing all the housework with servility ))
                              I think you are into extremes, have not seen Suna saying she is eager to provide for men, she is for equal oppotunities and choices for both, men and women which is fair of course. The only thing a man cannot do is carrying baby and giving birth. A woman's physiology is different than that of a man and that's it, not a big deal. Mutual respect is a key of equal partnership regardless of a person's role in a family - people are very different and do not usually live to one scenario during their entire lives.

                              loony moonchild, no problem. I liked your post and that's why clarified some things. Your post was about making choices and mutual respect which is a must in building any relationships regardless of what people do for the family.

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                              • Originally posted by cooliekido View Post
                                Being a woman i believe i should be more comfortable being the queen of an empire i have contributed in building,waiting for a man to build it all them i pop in just to enjoy his sweat is being a parasite,unless i have met him already established which i should contribute in maintaining and managing it,after all a woman should be a helper not a guest or audience,and what a man can do,a woman can do better...
                                ​I like the fairytale. Men can do things women can't do and vice versa..
                                ^..............^

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