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Is it better to have a housewife or a working wife when raising kids?

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  • Is it better to have a housewife or a working wife when raising kids?

    I and a few friends (all single) were having the discussion sometime ago, and both sides had good points to bring up. I would like to hear more from people's real experiences where they thought one was better than the other. This is purely to gain a perspective, not to be sexist/demeaning to women. From the culture I grew up and largely in the world, I see women taking the choice between home/work, since most cultures demand the man to be the bread earner, hence the question about women.
    I do understand, most often the grass is greener on the other side.

  • #2
    This is 2017, One need not do a traditional 9 to 6 workplace Job. There are many home based jobs like Homebakers, Consultancy, Blogging, Digital art and freelancing to name a few. The idea is to get money in and its very possible to earn that without doing a traditional job. Even if both parents are doing traditional jobs, there is still day care/grandparents babysitting. I would prefer a working wife. 2 heads are better than one.
    Last edited by CaptainRish; 04-17-2017, 05:08 PM.
    Lookin' for Booty on the Seven seas.

    ===========================
    I like to write about Food http://www.grubzon.com/

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    • #3
      Ask her to make online shop...online business...

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      • #4
        I believe it's best to balance your personal wish and the need of the family, all things considered.

        Parents (yes, both) who just want to build career and spare zero time to take care of their children better don't have any children. Parents who want children should actually raise them, spend time with them and educate them properly. As long as the couple agree to it and they can make it finance-wise, I have no problem with the women staying at home (or the men, if what's they want). Yes, she doesn't make any money while taking care of her own child(ren), but that's a choice she makes and I have nothing but respect to that. How many people stuck in a boring office job while they actually want to build their own business? How many accountant actually want to be a writer? Of course things are different if her partner doesn't make enough money to support the family, but if he does and what she really wants is to spend more time with her kids, why judge her?

        On the other hand, it is completely fine too if she wants to work. I just hope her job doesn't take all her time till she doesn't get to see her kids enough. There's nothing wrong with leaving a kid in a good day care, but coming home super-late all the time sounds saddening to me. Kids need their parents (and yes, this actually applies to both parents). I think working parents have to be able to balance the time between their work and family. Non traditional/office-bound jobs can be alternatives too, but of course it depends on the individuals.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by CaptainRish View Post
          This is 2017, One need not do a traditional 9 to 6 workplace Job. There are many home based jobs like Homebakers, Consultancy, Blogging, Digital art and freelancing to name a few. The idea is to get money in and its very possible to earn that doing a traditional job. Even if both parents are doing traditional jobs, there is still day care/grandparents babysitting. I would prefer a working wife. 2 heads are better than one.
          I thought men already have two heads.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by CaptainRish View Post
            This is 2017, One need not do a traditional 9 to 6 workplace Job. There are many home based jobs like Homebakers, Consultancy, Blogging, Digital art and freelancing to name a few. The idea is to get money in and its very possible to earn that doing a traditional job. Even if both parents are doing traditional jobs, there is still day care/grandparents babysitting. I would prefer a working wife. 2 heads are better than one.

            2 pay checks are better than one too.

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            • #7
              My mom was a housewife for a long time and looking back I wish she had a job outside our home. She is a great mom and she made my childhood amazing that's for sure, I am not criticising there. But it would be better for her I think because as she was at home with us she didn't have any friends or at least not as good as now when she has a job (where she met most of them). Also, it kind of spoiled my dad because for some time he didn't want to do any cleaning (not even after himself) because mom would always do it. So yeah, I am for a working mom.

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              • #8
                It's best to have grandparents in my opinion
                Why is it called a tourist season if we're not supposed to hunt them?

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                • #9
                  better to have enough money to give her options - whether to work or be a housewife, so she could work if she likes to and alternate it with being at home with kids. Staying at home with kids constantly - is a hard work, it's a lot harder than working at office/other place, and if a couple doesn't have anyone (eg grandparents) to help with kids, a woman's life will be not easy, rather not physically but psychologically. When kids are little, the best option is interchange -work/being at home to let her change the environment and activity though while she works need to pay for helpers (babbysitters & housekeepers) but it's worth it.

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                  • #10
                    I'm willing to share pleasures of laundry, cleaning, cooking and care about kid, when she is willing to enjoy the delight of full time job. It's not only question of money but sharing of responsibilities and joys.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post

                      I thought men already have two heads.
                      Only one Thinks though
                      Lookin' for Booty on the Seven seas.

                      ===========================
                      I like to write about Food http://www.grubzon.com/

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                      • #12
                        In the optimal case you have two parents who reduce both their worktime a bit and work parttime until the youngest child is about 10-12 years old.
                        Maybe an 80% model for both, or something similar so that they have together 1.5 jobs would be ideal in my opinion.

                        Originally posted by AEddy View Post
                        both sides had good points to bring up.
                        exactly. It may look like an advantages in the short run when one spouse stays at home completely and the other concentrates on work....but in the long run you only have disadvantages. One of them will miss a lot time with the kids and will never know of many details, the other one lives in a limited world and is endangered to end with a limited mind one day.

                        In addition they are both dependent from one income, what is also nothing but a risk for both.....but especially for the one who stays at home. To go back to work after staying home for 10-20 years is not easy and most likely you will always earn only the minimum wage. Doesn't matter what your education has been.

                        When you ask old people what they regret most, then the men often say that they spent too less time with their children.

                        Originally posted by IronMind89 View Post
                        I'm willing to share pleasures of laundry, cleaning, cooking and care about kid, when she is willing to enjoy the delight of full time job. It's not only question of money but sharing of responsibilities and joys.
                        exactly, there are joys and pleasures to share in both worlds, isn't it
                        Last edited by Suna123; 04-17-2017, 06:38 PM.
                        In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

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                        • #13
                          Before my mom just stays at home and take care of us. As we are growing up she joined direct selling and it is helpful not just financially but it made her more happy rather than just sit at home. My father is a soldier and he gave my mother a freedom to choice and not force her to be just a housewife. I think its better for a woman to have her own job because it makes the relationship healthy and she is less dependent on her husband.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post
                            I believe it's best to balance your personal wish and the need of the family, all things considered.

                            Parents (yes, both) who just want to build career and spare zero time to take care of their children better don't have any children. Parents who want children should actually raise them, spend time with them and educate them properly. As long as the couple agree to it and they can make it finance-wise, I have no problem with the women staying at home (or the men, if what's they want). Yes, she doesn't make any money while taking care of her own child(ren), but that's a choice she makes and I have nothing but respect to that. How many people stuck in a boring office job while they actually want to build their own business? How many accountant actually want to be a writer? Of course things are different if her partner doesn't make enough money to support the family, but if he does and what she really wants is to spend more time with her kids, why judge her?

                            On the other hand, it is completely fine too if she wants to work. I just hope her job doesn't take all her time till she doesn't get to see her kids enough. There's nothing wrong with leaving a kid in a good day care, but coming home super-late all the time sounds saddening to me. Kids need their parents (and yes, this actually applies to both parents). I think working parents have to be able to balance the time between their work and family. Non traditional/office-bound jobs can be alternatives too, but of course it depends on the individuals.

                            Being a stay at home mom, or dad for that matter, is a big job and I respect people who do it. But I would also like to add a couple of caveats. It is very hard to support a family on a single income. I only know one couple who do so. The man makes more than twice the average salary here and still they live a modest lifestyle. If he was making an average salary she would have to go to work in order for to maintain a decent financial condition and that's the way it is for most families nowadays.

                            Also the woman, or man, who stays with the kids needs to make sure they first have the necessary education and professional skills to be able to pursue a career at a later date. Their spouse could lose their job, they could get divorced or a gazillion other things could happen that would require them to enter the workforce. It's something everyone needs to be prepared for and that includes stay at home parents who depend on their spouses for income.
                            Last edited by ChrisShiva; 04-18-2017, 03:06 AM.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Suna123 View Post
                              ......
                              exactly, there are joys and pleasures to share in both worlds, isn't it
                              Indeed. 8 hours in an office with psychopathic boss are nearly comparable with few hours easy homework. It's only fair that all sides in a relationship become similar chance to enjoy both situations.

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