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  • Working Housewives

    Yea, I just can't find another title and I know it sucks... But please bear with me since I haven't made a topic for ages.
    So, I read some facebook posts on my news feed (yeah, still use facebook pfff) and find some of the people I know write or share things like "I left my job for my family and it was the best decision" "Why being a housewife is the best thing for a woman" or anything along that line. They say things like the most ultimate ultra goal for a woman should be only for fully serving his husband and family. They're proud that they took their courage (and dignity somehow) to leave their jobs for their fams.

    Well, it's still okay for me at some points, there's nothing wrong of wanting to take care of their family. But then some of them have those holier than thou attitude like how they've done something great, that it makes their husbands happy, and that working wives are still too egoistic and arrogant to fully serve their families. The thing that irks me is that some of them belong to certain religion which doesn't allow them to be seen or touched by opposite sex aside from their husbands and families. So they only went to female obgyns, nursed by female nurse, and did their labor by female midwives. I find it hypocritical that they feel somehow superior for being able to fully support their families but still expect the helps of female doctors etc.

    I don't know if this thread has ever been made or not, but I'm curious of your opinions regarding this. If you feel like you can fully support your family, do you want your wife to stay at home just taking care of everything? I personally really dislike that idea, cause it's very sexist thing to do. But then it sucks cause this happens a lot around me and my aunt and uncle even got a divorce because of things like this.

  • #2
    There is such thing like task sharing. A man who works 12h per day hasn't the time for children household etc. He earns money for the family and woman when she doesn't work has the task of children and household chores on her neck. Of course when both work or one of them has a job which is occasionally as example me who needs some hours in few months to find a new tenant for a flat or needs sporadic some days for a renovation, can take the household shores as well. This is always mutual will for cooperation, nothing more or less.
    At the moment i'm the household bitch, who cooks the meals and cleans the rooms. We don't have kids and the effort isn't much different as i lived as single. One plater and drinking glass more in dishwasher isn't really a challenge. Probably with kid(s) i will be a little bit overwhelmed, but for this sake we have 3 years maternity holidays here. LOL
    I wouldn't say it's a absolutely unacceptable option for a woman, to be a housewife, i would personally prefer to take the whole household shores and a kids on my shoulder than to work in a office with idiotic coworkers, trainees and mental instable boss day for day. Probably this is something what everybody has to compare personally with own experiences.
    Last edited by Hades91; 07-06-2017, 09:13 AM.

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    • #3
      those women exist everywhere and everywhere they pay a high price in life and their husbands pay too.
      It is a poor life depriving both partners half of life. Having tasks outside the family - must not be a paid job, when there is enough money - is important for the development of a grown human. (and having tasks inside the family as well) Majority of housewifes end with limited minds living in a limited world after about two decades. Husbands of those wifes often end like being guests in their own families.

      On top, households are no fulltime job like they have been in earlier times. Yes, you can keep yourself busy.....but it will be a lot of pretty useless stuff.
      In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

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      • #4
        Sugar baby is an addition to the mistress (independent woman - predator, seeker of happiness).
        Last edited by dmitri11; 07-05-2017, 08:33 PM.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Suna123 View Post
          those women exist everywhere and everywhere they pay a high price in life and their husbands pay too.
          It is a poor life depriving both partners half of life. Having tasks outside the family - must not be a paid job, when there is enough money - is important for the development of a grown human. (and having tasks inside the family as well) Majority of housewifes end with limited minds living in a limited world after about two decades. Husbands of those wifes often end like being guests in their own families.

          On top, households are no fulltime job like they have been in earlier times. Yes, you can keep yourself busy.....but it will be a lot of pretty useless stuff.
          Ok Klugscheisser.

          What do you propose as an alternative option? If the man earns 200% more money?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by dmitri11 View Post
            Sugar baby is an addition to the mistress (independent woman - predator, seeker of happiness).
            Yeah, the man is always an enemy

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Suna123 View Post
              those women exist everywhere and everywhere they pay a high price in life and their husbands pay too.
              It is a poor life depriving both partners half of life. Having tasks outside the family - must not be a paid job, when there is enough money - is important for the development of a grown human. (and having tasks inside the family as well) Majority of housewifes end with limited minds living in a limited world after about two decades. Husbands of those wifes often end like being guests in their own families.

              On top, households are no fulltime job like they have been in earlier times. Yes, you can keep yourself busy.....but it will be a lot of pretty useless stuff.
              Ah...I see you have a diploma from the Lauri School Of Higher Idiocy.

              If a couple plans on having children, it is always better for the mother to stay at home and raise their children rather than paying someone else to do it. Always. The odds are that the marriage will be better and the children won't turn out as flunkies. History is a witness to that. There will always be time for the mother to work when the children get to a certain age and become independent. A single mother has a much more difficult time emotionally and financially in raising her children. They may very well turn out to be decent individuals but it will be at a great personal cost to her.

              The current model has produced a crop of irresponsible men who leave their wives/girlfriends when things get difficult. They not only hurt the women they once promised to love, they hurt their children as well, not to mention the social costs


              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Hades91 View Post
                T
                At the moment i'm the household bitch, who cocks the meals
                Is it a typo or are you a really bad cook ?

                Working or staying at home has always been my wife's choice, she stopped working for several years when we had our first two kids - she had small jobs in that period but they were short occasional opportunities. It was always clear to me she'd get back to work full time as I knew she was good in her field. Although she always asked my opinion first I always encouraged her to have a job if she wanted to, and changed my own schedule accordingly.

                She didn't like the kind of moms that were all about their family, especially when they implied she didn't do her share. At certain times I had to insist to take care of the house and kids more often as it was easier for me to put work on hold. She was always encouraged by her father to be an independent, working woman. He encouraged her to pursue her goals, go to college,... so it was only natural we'd both work and lead our family life according to this factor. Which doesn't mean it's not a noble thing to serve your family full time. If you feel it's the best thing you can do and you have no serious financial interest to have a job outside the house, that's fine too. In both cases people fork up and other people do wonders.

                Comment


                • #9
                  People on facebook and on internet in general have a tendency to expose a wonderful epic awesome and amazing life that, in fact, they don't have... Wonder if they really made the choice as they wrote, and wonder why they feel forced to share their "awesomlyamazingtrololo" story if they end with a complex like you described.

                  I find it sad somehow, because being a housewife is a real work in my opinion, and I respect the women (and the very rare men) who do that, because it's not always easy to deal with the kids + the home and the others stuff everyday. It's especially good when you know how some kids turn nowaday, like little monsters for some of them, educated with TV (and all the issues it brought...) and internet, without anybody to check what they are doing on it, ofc... So, being a housewife who take care of the kids is really good I think, but falling in a philololosophy/way of poopylife like that... It's only sad, they should spend their time in another activity instead of being retarded.
                  Last edited by Sancta_Lux; 07-06-2017, 12:10 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Satriani View Post
                    Yea, I just can't find another title and I know it sucks... But please bear with me since I haven't made a topic for ages.
                    So, I read some facebook posts on my news feed (yeah, still use facebook pfff) and find some of the people I know write or share things like "I left my job for my family and it was the best decision" "Why being a housewife is the best thing for a woman" or anything along that line. They say things like the most ultimate ultra goal for a woman should be only for fully serving his husband and family. They're proud that they took their courage (and dignity somehow) to leave their jobs for their fams.

                    Well, it's still okay for me at some points, there's nothing wrong of wanting to take care of their family. But then some of them have those holier than thou attitude like how they've done something great, that it makes their husbands happy, and that working wives are still too egoistic and arrogant to fully serve their families. The thing that irks me is that some of them belong to certain religion which doesn't allow them to be seen or touched by opposite sex aside from their husbands and families. So they only went to female obgyns, nursed by female nurse, and did their labor by female midwives. I find it hypocritical that they feel somehow superior for being able to fully support their families but still expect the helps of female doctors etc.

                    I don't know if this thread has ever been made or not, but I'm curious of your opinions regarding this. If you feel like you can fully support your family, do you want your wife to stay at home just taking care of everything? I personally really dislike that idea, cause it's very sexist thing to do. But then it sucks cause this happens a lot around me and my aunt and uncle even got a divorce because of things like this.
                    It is easy to be answered

                    I can say "bola permata jauh lebih baik dari pada bola karet".."ketika kamu melempar bola permata dan dia jatuh, pecah maka sulit untuk dirangkai lagi kalaupun bisa pasti ada bekasnya, ketika kamu melempar bola karet, dia akan terpental ketempat lain"
                    When you understand this, you will understand why wives leave their job for taking care their husband..family itu seperti bola permata dan pekerjaan seperti bola karet..kalaupun kamu keluar dr pekerjaan, kamu msh bisa berpikir tetap menjadi produktif dengan bekerja dirumah..

                    It is only a part of respecting family relationship

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      The reality is that for most couples it takes two incomes to support a family. If one partner makes enough to support the entire family and they both agree for the other to stay home with the kids then I'm ok with that. But the person doing so, which is usually the woman, is taking a risk because if she gives up her career and then the marriage doesn't work out she is stuck in a bad situation.

                      As for women acting like they are morally superior for being housewives that is totally ridiculous.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        No one is superior just because she becomes a housewife OR a working wife. To me, it's just a personal choice. If they can afford to have one stay at home and they both are ok with it, good. If she wants to work, good too. As long as they can manage their household as partner and actually take care of their kids (no mater what arrangements they opt for), that's good for me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Times have changed a lot for women in general. Over the years, the housewives (or houseflies, a joke) have been revered as the ultimate choice for married women. A role that is important and pivotal to domestic and romantic bliss. Children included.

                          However, today....more women are either required to work for a second income or chose to work because of career ambitions since they have better academic opportunities than in the past. They wouldn't want to waste all that education. There is nothing superior for a working or non working wife. Both should be equally cherished.

                          The ultimate goal is to survive and have a better life for family....regardless of which is superior or better. It is NOT the OLYMPICS!
                          You Cannot Give What You Don't Have.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I guess the more traditional the society the more such attitude and views are common. There are such women somewhere around me but i dont really meet them much because my circle of friends have close to mine lifestyle and views, i am not afraid to lose connection with people i dont really have anything in common and i have very little close relatives to eat my brain about my lifestyle choices. I can imagine how much harder it is for u.
                            In general i find this kind of lifestyle and life choices to be strange like you are not a person, its your husband who is and u are just some addition - servant. As ideal wife u are obliged to make some input but it wont ever be your achievement - like a page-boy who does everything for his master to shine and stays at the shadow.
                            I see several sides to the question. First of all I think majority of men don’t earn even close enough to ensure comfortable living for their families. Its just their traditionalistic whim and old-fashioned pride to force their wives to stay at home when incomes are just enough to cover some basic expenses like flat, food and clothes and maybe rare vacations to the nearest location. At least its true about Russia. Such women just stay at home, do household duties and take care of kids – many do it very lousy and I guess they are housewives because they are lazy.
                            Rare women have very well-to-do husbands but again majority of who I know spend their time on make up, shopping and different lazy activities. They don’t really do much cose incomes let to take care about practical side, hire help etc. So from what I have seen it’s a choice of lazy women.
                            Personally I d prefer to work in any case, just would care to take some occupation with flexible schedule when I have kids or start some project if money were not a problem. I think modern lifestyle lets us to cut off a lot of stuff to do – I spend about 2 hours on cleaning weekly and that’s all. Cooking can also be very simple nowadays with all the devices we have. What to spend all this time on? Besides its not my dream to sit at home and wash floores. I am used to be active for my whole life and its not only question of money. I like to win and do something better than others.
                            People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                              Ok Klugscheisser.

                              What do you propose as an alternative option? If the man earns 200% more money?
                              Theoretisch könnte ich erzählen, wie wir es gemacht haben und wie es uns möglich war den Einkommensunterschied - der sogar noch größer war - innerhalb von knapp 15 Jahren zu beseitigen. Nur ein Hinweis: gegenseitige Unterstützung ist das Zauberwort. Ich könnte auch erzählen, wie wir uns bei der Kinderbetreuung aufgeteilt haben, ohne das jemand zu Hause komplett und auf Dauer versauern musste. Ich tu's aber nicht, weil du ein Arschloch bist. Kinder haben zwei Eltern, nicht nur eine Mutter.

                              Originally posted by RogerCarmel View Post
                              Ah...I see you have a diploma from the Lauri School Of Higher Idiocy.

                              If a couple plans on having children, it is always better for the mother to stay at home and raise their children rather than paying someone else to do it. Always. The odds are that the marriage will be better and the children won't turn out as flunkies. History is a witness to that. There will always be time for the mother to work when the children get to a certain age and become independent. A single mother has a much more difficult time emotionally and financially in raising her children. They may very well turn out to be decent individuals but it will be at a great personal cost to her.

                              The current model has produced a crop of irresponsible men who leave their wives/girlfriends when things get difficult. They not only hurt the women they once promised to love, they hurt their children as well, not to mention the social costs

                              I did not speak about how to raise children. I described some of the problems when a woman stays home lifelong and doesn't have tasks outside the family.

                              ​Children have parents - mother and father. They need their parents, not only their mother. Yes, single parents have a hard time especially emotionally during the first 5-7 years. Women in traditional marriages often call themselves "married and single mother". It doesn't come as a surprise that divorces are initiated by the woman to about 65%.
                              More is not to say to your ranting.
                              In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

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