Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Working Housewives

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    Originally posted by LadyJosh View Post

    Exactly. I admire my grandmother in that way. While she was not a single mother, she didn't quit her office job when she got married and had a baby. My grandfather was very modern in that regard and shared household chores with her (one time a doctor had to come for my aunt who was then a baby, my grandmother was at work so my grandfather was alone with her, and this doctor was just surprised that he, as a man, was taking good care of the baby - so yes, it was highly unusual at the time that a man did anything in that regard at all). However, he fell sick and died pretty young, so my grandmother was always obliged to work hard. Nevertheless, she got a lot of critics for the way she did things, which were unusual at the time. But I think it was mostly admirable, all the more because she set a good example for her niece who decided in 1966 to start a business while having a small child (all the others in the family strongly discouraged her to do it).

    Do you think it is because of your mother that you have a pretty liberal mindset (when it comes to gender equality for example)?

    Our grandparents have that in common. My maternal grandmother was a teacher at a time when working outside the home for women was extremely rare and my grandfather, who was the county superintendent of schools, helped out with cooking and other household chores. In many ways they were conservative and religious people. But both of their lives were dedicated to education and in that way they were progressive. It also gave them a shared purpose which helped make their marriage successful.

    My mom did contribute to my belief in gender equality and respect for women because I saw and experienced the struggles she went through, such as working two jobs to support my brother and I after my parents divorced. But the unfortunate part was she had dropped out of college after marrying my dad believing they would live happily ever after. That didn't happen and the fact that she didn't have the education and professional skills necessary to have a career making a good salary is part of what made it so tough.

    That's one reason I think every person should have their own career and not be dependent on a partner to take care of them. Knights in shining armor and damsels in distress are best left in fairy tales.
    Last edited by ChrisShiva; 07-09-2017, 02:30 AM.

    Comment


    • #92
      Originally posted by RogerCarmel View Post

      Your friend? Sorry, I don't remember reading about your friend, so I can guarantee you that he's neither a plus or a minus in my argument. As I've said before, I don't read every post.
      Oh, losing your memory now? You even replied to me mentioning that friend. Let me refresh your memory. I said this:

      I have seen my friend who has been unemployed for a while and who is getting questions on what he has been doing for the past year ( so can you imagine for a seven year gap?!).
      To which you replied:

      A man with a hole in his CV is suspect. That's just the way it is considering the culture we live in. Your friend is a man, that's his problem.
      See how incredibly inconsistent you are? But I am leaving it as this, it will be hard discussing with a guy who is losing his mind and/or who doesn't bother to read other people's messages.

      Good for your friends they didn't have any trouble finding a job. Maybe you could convince one of those eight women to participate in this discussion? Because maybe it was harder than it looked from the outside, maybe it's a field in which unemployment is low, maybe they were just lucky? One person can be lucky. My mum had been out of work for several years, had 3 children, and not even a high school diploma and somehow she got a good job. Should I make a rule out of it now, or look at statistics for the overall population? I think the latter is more representative.

      But you yourself are saying it is hard, so we basically just agree. The only difference is that you say "yeah it is hard, suck it up" and I say "I know it is hard, so I avoid creating a problem by not sitting at home for years". Who then is complaining? The one who thinks there is no other way than to suck it up, or the person who tries to find a solution? And to be fair, I didn't complain for myself really, I have never been out of a job for long. I am just saying, I wouldn't take the risk. I can make things complicated by staying at home for years, or I could go for a less complicated way. And it is not my only motivation either. I like working better than doing nothing else than cleaning the house and cooking. I spent time, money and dedication on studying and I don't want it to be for nothing. And I think it is better to be independant financially. The current job market was just one aspect.
      Last edited by LadyJosh; 07-08-2017, 08:36 AM.
      La tête en bas et les pieds en l'air ! Oh lÃ* lÃ* !

      Comment


      • #93
        I see no problem for a mother to stay at home when kids are small and take care of them when a man earns money but I see a problem if an educated woman stays at home for good if she wishes to go to work. If a person sounds like they sacrificed their lives staying at home then they should have never done that but I believe there are women who prefer staying at home or working less in order to be able to spend more time in a family.

        I personally prefer the golden middle. Family is always more important than any career but people should not feel deprived of chances to go out, work, have self realization fullfilled. The way they themselves understand it I guess. For one it is being at home with family, for others it is careers.

        Comment


        • #94
          Originally posted by Suna123 View Post
          Lynne is here for a long time and we like her for her thoughtful posts. I don't know if feminazis like her since there are none here.
          Awww thank you, Suna. Big happy hugs

          As to the other comment, I guess I was going by my experience as a stay at home with other stay at home wives and mothers. They just seem to be studying a lot of things and are more involved in hobbies etc. The busy mom's with the careers, and the families around me seem too tired for a lot of things. Traditionally, stay at homes were volunteering in their communities, even getting involved politically on many issues.

          I have seen many stay at homes become more spiritual whatever their belief as well as intellectual. In the US there has been a steady increase in stay at home mothers.

          I would say that mental stagnation can occur in any endeavour in life, because people choose to stop learning. Most depression and boredom is a result of individual expectations and reality not meeting those expectations. Today we are people looking for the instant gratification, the next great thrill etc. Thing is reality is much more routine and schedule and daily grind. If people remain in an attitude that their 9-5 career, or their stay at home life should give them more excitement, they'll be more likely to be depressed etc. When adults embrace that the real world isn't always a roller coaster ride, then when it is time to "ride the coaster" it's easier to know it's just a small thing in the grand scheme of life. It's more the legacy and memories we leave behind rather than all the thrill of working in a career or staying home.

          My friends and I view it as all the awards and accolades from a career won't keep you company when your old. So far I see more adult children whose mothers were stay at homes, who are now stay at homes spend more time visiting their elderly parents.

          I'm not saying you can't have it all, I'm saying that just like only certain people can do that and that it's better to make a choice one way or the other rather than try to balance it all. If a woman stays home though she faces more ridicule than if she works. I've seen the looks you know. At least here in the US. Lol the looks are better than when pregnant with baby 5 everyone makes comments like "don't you know what causes that?" Maybe instead of point fingers and think stay at homes are more miserable because a bunch of numbers in a report said so, or some feminists groups have brainwashed women to think that, we should just support a woman her decision and provide some emotional support on occasion or even make a few attempts at accolades and praise. Working or stay at homes, I think women enjoy genuine praise once in awhile.

          Comment


          • #95
            I'd like to also add that the US does not have a lot of state run daycare. In fact I believe it's all private. Even if a mother waits until her children are school age, chances are she'll work later than when school let's out if she works full time. The cost of day care varies but even at the low end it eats up a largeneral portion of income. On average in the US daycare for one child can cost from 3,500 a year to 11,000 a year. If a child is I'll they can't go to a day care so a mother either takes that time off, or parents pay extra for someone else to watch the child or children during the illness if they do not have a support like family etc. Then the idea of who takes kids to appointments etc becomes another juggling act. It usually becomes the job of the mom to do that.

            Comment


            • #96
              Originally posted by LynneMK View Post
              So far I see more adult children whose mothers were stay at homes, who are now stay at homes spend more time visiting their elderly parents.
              where I grew up close to 100% of both parents worked fulltime. There were always families where the adult children have had much contact with the parents and those who had not. I live now for more than 15 years in West Germany where close to 100% of all women in retirement age were lifelong housewifes. And it is the same. Some families have close ties and some have not.


              Originally posted by LynneMK View Post
              If a child is I'll they can't go to a day care so a mother either takes that time off, or parents pay extra for someone else to watch the child or children during the illness if they do not have a support like family etc. Then the idea of who takes kids to appointments etc becomes another juggling act. It usually becomes the job of the mom to do that.
              Here you get 10 sickdays fully paid per year and child - mother and father each. For two children a couple gets up to 40 sickdays paid per year (you must bring a sicknote from the doctor)
              At the moment about 20% of those are taken by the fathers, tendence increasing. In more traditional regions this value is lower in others higher.

              In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

              Comment


              • #97
                Originally posted by Suna123 View Post

                Here you get 10 sickdays fully paid per year and child - mother and father each. For two children a couple gets up to 40 sickdays paid per year (you must bring a sicknote from the doctor)
                At the moment about 20% of those are taken by the fathers, tendence increasing. In more traditional regions this value is lower in others higher.
                Unfortunately, the number of sick days we receive here in the US is not that generous. 10 sick days if you are lucky... and that doesn't increase just because you have kids.

                Anyway regarding women stagnating intellectually if they are SAHMs (e.g. SAHM = Stay At Home Mom)... that is true for many women... but not all.

                I think how much a person learns and grows intellectually is really a reflection on that person's character/personality traits... not necessarily their employment or education status.

                Also, the amount of time available to devote to learning new things or hobbies, is a product of time and money... so I would imagine SAHMs who have a large number of children would be less likely to have time to devote to hobbies/interests.

                However if a SAHM with a large family is wealthy enough to hire a nanny or nannies to assist them in childcare duties ... then well... disregard what I just said, hahaha.
                Last edited by CricketUSA; 07-08-2017, 03:50 PM.
                If you need to know how to live your life, simply consult the internet. The endless wealth of knowledge from clueless cunts will lead you toward enlightenment. -- Muckmouth.com

                Comment


                • #98
                  Originally posted by CricketUSA View Post
                  Unfortunately, the number of sick days we receive here in the US is not that generous. 10 sick days if you are lucky... and that doesn't increase just because you have kids.
                  paid sickdays for you yourself are 30days :-P but you have to bring a sick note latest on the third day.
                  In dir muß brennen, was du in anderen entzünden willst. What you wish to kindle in others must burn within yourself. [Aurelius]

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Originally posted by Suna123 View Post

                    I'm not a native English speakers, but I can say for sure that there is no humour between the insulting lines of your posts in this thread.
                    I'm not a native English speaker either, worst, my english is kinda broken... And I understood the humour from his sentence... Context is sometime very helpful.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Sancta_Lux View Post
                      I'm not a native English speaker either, worst, my english is kinda broken... And I understood the humour from his sentence... Context is sometime very helpful.
                      Le grand drame avec ces dames est qu'elles n'endurent aucune opinion contraire à la leur. C'est compréhensible; elles sont alémaniques!

                      English translation:

                      I really enjoyed my time discussing with these open-minded women. I found their opinions refreshing and full of verve!

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X