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Does Your Parent's Blessings Matter In A Relationship?

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  • Does Your Parent's Blessings Matter In A Relationship?

    Some couples are rather particular about having their parent's blessings. Others may not and wouldn't think it matters. After all it is between them. As long as they are happy with each other, they felt that it is enough.

    However, some parents are particular about being counsel and seek for their approval and blessings. What if they object or disapprove? In your opinion, would you be concern about that and how may you persuade them to change their minds?

    Care to share your views and experiences....if any.
    You Cannot Give What You Don't Have.

  • #2
    Only and only after I am serious enough with my partner, I'll introduce him to my parents. My parents can agree or disagree, but unless I actually find their reason to disagree reasonable (he turns out to be abusive, rude, alcoholic, addict, etc etc), I won't care. Knowing my parents, they'll also care about things like race (which Idc at all) and religion (I am not even religious. So what my parents want for me will likely to be unsuitable for myself), etc. In that case I won't listen. I will try to persuade my parents and let them see that we're in love, etc etc, but I won't wait just for their approval forever. Getting my parents' blessing is great, but not mandatory.

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    • #3
      With me I think if who your dating and your parents do not get on, Marriage should not happen. You may not be living with your family, but there is going to be times they will be visiting and vice versa so you want harmony not friction. So that is my opinion on the question.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post
        Only and only after I am serious enough with my partner, I'll introduce him to my parents. My parents can agree or disagree, but unless I actually find their reason to disagree reasonable (he turns out to be abusive, rude, alcoholic, addict, etc etc), I won't care. Knowing my parents, they'll also care about things like race (which Idc at all) and religion (I am not even religious. So what my parents want for me will likely to be unsuitable for myself), etc. In that case I won't listen. I will try to persuade my parents and let them see that we're in love, etc etc, but I won't wait just for their approval forever. Getting my parents' blessing is great, but not mandatory.
        I do understand and admired your point of views. Parents can be a blessing or a pain, depending on how blissful and annoying their flavors and objections are. Perhaps, you were right in drawing a line. Making a stand for yourself and your choice of a partner is entirely your prerogative. And when that choice go down well with you or not, at least you can take full responsibility. Far too often, there are parents who meddled with relationships only to regret later. After all, it is time that their children made their own decisions even though those might be hard choices.

        I believe parents can give counsel and advice, which is both proper and care giving. You can appreciate their wisdom (if they are credible) and gave them all some thoughts. If parents already blessed a relationship, there is just one thing to do.....move on and dance all night!
        You Cannot Give What You Don't Have.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Seesaw_warmth View Post
          With me I think if who your dating and your parents do not get on, Marriage should not happen. You may not be living with your family, but there is going to be times they will be visiting and vice versa so you want harmony not friction. So that is my opinion on the question.
          There are some family traditions (or cultural requirements) that necessitates consent from parents before marriage. We can respect that where life partners are vetted and approved of by both sides of the couple's parents. Simply not for harmony but also for maintaining a status class and race. Like the rich marrying the rich. Royalty wedding another royalty. Something along those lines, if you know where I am going with this.

          But then, here is the thing. What about your own choice, if your parents object? You seemed content with the fact that if your partner don't get along with parents, it is a no no. Would you really let your parents decide on your life partner entirely?

          You Cannot Give What You Don't Have.

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          • #6
            Principally have been my parents critical towards my girls which i brought with home. Therefore their approval/disapproval has zero relevance for me, even though my mother was right with my first one.
            From the other side, fathers of those girls have had always some kind of aversion to me, what is comprehensible, because no one father likes when other guy nails his daughter which is still a little girl in his imagination even if she is over 20.
            With more time grows the acceptance of parents.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Hades91 View Post
              Principally have been my parents critical towards my girls which i brought with home. Therefore their approval/disapproval has zero relevance for me, even though my mother was right with my first one.
              From the other side, fathers of those girls have had always some kind of aversion to me, what is comprehensible, because no one father likes when other guy nails his daughter which is still a little girl in his imagination even if she is over 20.
              With more time grows the acceptance of parents.
              I can understand that some parents are still very protective over their daughters and not so much the sons. Their apprehensions are well founded in some cases, where daughters have made bad choices. Like you said....their little princesses are still little girls in their eyes. Not ready to face the real world of men and romances.

              It is also difficult for parents to "let go"...of their emotional attachment. And daughters over 18 and above are just beginning to discover men and love. Their hearts long for companionship and belonging with someone else. To experience fresh attachment with a partner of their choice with or without their parent's blessing.

              And that alone take much courage.
              You Cannot Give What You Don't Have.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Bond_007 View Post

                I can understand that some parents are still very protective over their daughters and not so much the sons. Their apprehensions are well founded in some cases, where daughters have made bad choices. Like you said....their little princesses are still little girls in their eyes. Not ready to face the real world of men and romances.

                It is also difficult for parents to "let go"...of their emotional attachment. And daughters over 18 and above are just beginning to discover men and love. Their hearts long for companionship and belonging with someone else. To experience fresh attachment with a partner of their choice with or without their parent's blessing.

                And that alone take much courage.
                My mother has social pedagogy diploma, her attitude was "treat your boy like a prince till he's 5 and after treat him like a slave" Somehow the criticism of the slave phase has never ended in my case.
                Therefore in late teenager age comes the phase of rebellion, what should weaken the bound between kid and parents. It helps to gain some healthy objectivism towards your parents and thinking about your personal happiness with somebody of your personal choice should have much higher value as groans of your never satisfied parents.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                  My mother has social pedagogy diploma, her attitude was "treat your boy like a prince till he's 5 and after treat him like a slave" Somehow the criticism of the slave phase has never ended in my case.
                  Therefore in late teenager age comes the phase of rebellion, what should weaken the bound between kid and parents. It helps to gain some healthy objectivism towards your parents and thinking about your personal happiness with somebody of your personal choice should have much higher value as groans of your never satisfied parents.
                  That's an.. interesting attitude. How did she treat her daughter (if you have any sister)?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Bond_007 View Post

                    I do understand and admired your point of views. Parents can be a blessing or a pain, depending on how blissful and annoying their flavors and objections are. Perhaps, you were right in drawing a line. Making a stand for yourself and your choice of a partner is entirely your prerogative. And when that choice go down well with you or not, at least you can take full responsibility. Far too often, there are parents who meddled with relationships only to regret later. After all, it is time that their children made their own decisions even though those might be hard choices.

                    I believe parents can give counsel and advice, which is both proper and care giving. You can appreciate their wisdom (if they are credible) and gave them all some thoughts. If parents already blessed a relationship, there is just one thing to do.....move on and dance all night!
                    The thing is I've tried following what my parents want. And hell no, I'm not happy. It costs me depression instead. At this point I don't think I can change my parents, nor they can change me. So I just have to accept them as they are and simply walk away when it comes to the aspects I can't agree with. Especially for such important decision like choosing a life partner, I think it's essential that I make the decision on my own. My partner is someone I will carefully choose, while my family is what I was born into. I love and respect them, of course, but really I rate what we personally choose to be important than just what we were born into.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post

                      The thing is I've tried following what my parents want. And hell no, I'm not happy. It costs me depression instead. At this point I don't think I can change my parents, nor they can change me. So I just have to accept them as they are and simply walk away when it comes to the aspects I can't agree with. Especially for such important decision like choosing a life partner, I think it's essential that I make the decision on my own. My partner is someone I will carefully choose, while my family is what I was born into. I love and respect them, of course, but really I rate what we personally choose to be important than just what we were born into.
                      Why did you try to follow what they want if it's against your beliefs ?... As you said, your family is something you were born into, you can't expect anything from them.

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                      • #12
                        It didn't matter to me. I woudl have done what I wanted regardless of their opinion. It mattered more to my parents that my eldest brother picked a nice lady from a good family and ran the family business. What other children did was less important.

                        Although my father was a bit concerned about my wife, because she was independant, she had a job, she wasn't French and she was maybe too middle-class for him. He never disapproved of our marriage and he liked her but he was just old-fashioned about those things.

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                        • #13
                          From a perspective of a parent - parents should realize kids grow up and find partners. In most cases it is possible to have friendly relations with kids' partners (I believe there can be exceptions when kids fall for terrible people but it cannot be a rule) so parents should be friendly and wish their kids all the best in building their own relations and future.

                          As for my parents, well. their opinion has always been important to me but I've always acted the way I myself found to be correct, so I believe parents should allow kids to make their own decisions and allow them to have a right to be mistaken.
                          Last edited by Etsia; 07-11-2017, 05:36 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Yes, it does. Without your parent's blessings, you are literally on your own.
                            ^..............^

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post

                              That's an.. interesting attitude. How did she treat her daughter (if you have any sister)?
                              Don't know, don't have siblings.

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