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Actively looking vs. Being desperate

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  • Actively looking vs. Being desperate

    Hello dear forumers, it feels like it's been awhile since I opened a thread, I almost forgot how it should look like, so here's a fresh start! ;-)

    So, back to the thread's title.
    As saying goes "you will meet the one when you least expect it", do you agree with it?
    Do you think when a man/woman openly admits they are in active search, it automatically makes them desperate for love? Where do you draw the line between looking for a partner and acting desperately (if there is a line at all).

  • #2
    Originally posted by Goathika View Post
    Hello dear forumers, it feels like it's been awhile since I opened a thread, I almost forgot how it should look like, so here's a fresh start! ;-)

    So, back to the thread's title.
    As saying goes "you will meet the one when you least expect it", do you agree with it?
    Do you think when a man/woman openly admits they are in active search, it automatically makes them desperate for love? Where do you draw the line between looking for a partner and acting desperately (if there is a line at all).
    As man is this a little bit different.
    - First off, acceptable women have ALWAYS a partner. What doesn't mean they want remain with him.
    - Secondly, women choose men. Even if you are in a relationship, you know always with whom could you beginning a relationship after your current one died. Women which could be potentially interested in a guy leave always knowing him that he could be the possible next one, independent if they're in a relationship or the guy is in one.
    - Thirdly, you are single if you want to be one. You don't wake up some morning with the thought, today I wanna find a girl for a relationship. As far as you aren't completely social isolated 30 yo. male virgin, you will have always some options and offers among you friends, their wives, GFs and their acquaintances.

    I draw a line on entirely different place. Some women are so desperate, that they show their 'admiration' to you completely obvious in presence of your partner or her partner. It's something like misusing you to achieve some personal goals. Even if it's a serious offer, it is presented so crass direct that you would be crazy to say yes.
    It's desperation or psychopathological behavior, but such crazy bitches exists.

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    • #3
      Seems like a topic I recently talked about in some group chat. I do agree we'd meet one when we least expect it, but that's partly because I suck at actively seeking and friendship first is the best for me.

      Actively looking is when you actively seek people to be your potential date (but still kinda chill. Like you really want to meet someone, but you won't be overly frustrated if next month you're still single). Being desperate is dreading still being single and going on dates because you can't stand being on your own and/or think a big chunk of your happiness depends on being a couple.

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      • #4
        Typically female thinking. How does it matter if somebody is desperate or not? Just why the hell women create this world of games, where guys have to pretend they're unintrested cause otherwise they'd appear "desperate".
        Seriously if one day I'll meet a girl who doesn't play this nonsense, I will marry her.
        http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/...20100803203515

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        • #5
          Originally posted by jordan_rudess View Post
          Seriously if one day I'll meet a girl who doesn't play this nonsense, I will marry her.
          Okaaaay. have you thought of the priesthood?



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          • #6
            Pain is a delusion of the senses, despair of mind.
            Why is it called a tourist season if we're not supposed to hunt them?

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            • #7
              I certainly followed the "love will happen when it happens" theory when I was younger and it worked out fine because I had a large circle of friends and sometimes those friendships turned into romances in a natural sort of way.

              But when I moved to Nashville at age 30 I didn't know anyone here and worked on week-ends which made it hard to meet new people. So I joined a dating site and went on alot of dates. Nashville is a very religious, conservative city and I went on many bad dates with women I had nothing in common with. But finally I met my wife and that made it worthwhile. If I hadn't taken this initiative and just waited around for love "to find me" I would probably be single until this day.

              On the other hand I must admit there is nothing less attractive than desperation and even when you really do want to meet someone it's important to maintain a sense of your own self-worth and not settle for whoever just because you are tired of being single.
              Last edited by ChrisShiva; 12-21-2017, 06:06 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by jordan_rudess View Post
                Typically female thinking. How does it matter if somebody is desperate or not? Just why the hell women create this world of games, where guys have to pretend they're unintrested cause otherwise they'd appear "desperate".
                Seriously if one day I'll meet a girl who doesn't play this nonsense, I will marry her.
                well....... you're desperate if you try to approach a girl who doesn't want you, if she wants you, then you're romantic.
                You can avoid it with controlled positive escalation. Else forget it.

                Even if love is an emotion, have emotions while seeking after one is wrong.
                Last edited by Hades91; 01-01-2018, 01:26 PM.

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                • #9
                  Some people are not made for being on their own, so as soon as they're single they'll be actively looking ; the line is what I would call 'greedi-tionships', a succession of forced relationships based on nothing. You try whatever you meet, you put a ludicrous amount of energy and money on those relationships, you accept whatever makes you think you're going the right direction to a successful relationship. Being desperate makes you forget about the essentials of a relationship and its very purpose. You're happy to be in the norm, to display a social marital status, but you're not building something good. Although it's still possible to be desperate and stumble upon the right person who will save you from yourself !

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                  • #10
                    Most relationships start with some form of attachment between a couple. One or other partner might lower their guard to reveal their true feelings. Always a risk when over-confident women make the first approach but it's bound to be exciting. Also, risky if the woman with psychotic tendencies is fataly attracted. So-called 'Bunny boilers' (as in the movie 'Fatal Attraction') women can equally attach themselves to any inanimate object. My Swiss [continued on page 94
                    Last edited by look4swissmiss; 12-23-2017, 12:16 PM.

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                    • #11
                      The line is hitting on everyone that you see and know. Since the beginning of time, I do not find anything more disgusting and pointless than some meathead that treats girls like mere objects b/c it never leads anywhere. Plus what kind of girl are you going to attract with these tactics? Just someone with extreme low self esteem that is not used to any sort of attention from guys. Actively looking can be a number of things from going out to clubs, using the various dating apps that are available or asking friends to help you look.

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                      • #12
                        Only Muslim girls desperate for semen to produce future terrorists who can help the US boosting its economy

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by muad View Post
                          Only Muslim girls desperate for semen to produce future terrorists who can help the US boosting its economy
                          Okey mister muad, you could elaborate it a little bit more and enlighten us or rather amuse us with your wisdom.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                            Okey mister muad, you could elaborate it a little bit more and enlighten us or rather amuse us with your wisdom.

                            The US is the president of this planet, it needs to put its hand on all resources.
                            Controlling resources needs less competitors.
                            Weak competition occurs when most of the humans stepping on these resources are ignorant and don't have know-how technology.
                            Muslims are the best candidate to for this kind of humans. Therefore, increasing the population of Muslims is an economic necessity for the US economy.
                            People stepping on resourcing have energy and this energy must be utilized wisely by the US.
                            The best way to create cash flow is to let Muslims kill each other.
                            The US sells them weapons to kill each other.
                            In order to ensure the war persists for the coming centuries, you need to ensure enough supply of human resources.
                            Muslims women are the production lines for those heroes, and so they need semen.
                            Semen is given for free by Muslim men carrying made-in-USA rifles.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by muad View Post


                              The US is the president of this planet, it needs to put its hand on all resources.
                              Controlling resources needs less competitors.
                              Weak competition occurs when most of the humans stepping on these resources are ignorant and don't have know-how technology.
                              Muslims are the best candidate to for this kind of humans. Therefore, increasing the population of Muslims is an economic necessity for the US economy.
                              People stepping on resourcing have energy and this energy must be utilized wisely by the US.
                              The best way to create cash flow is to let Muslims kill each other.
                              The US sells them weapons to kill each other.
                              In order to ensure the war persists for the coming centuries, you need to ensure enough supply of human resources.
                              Muslims women are the production lines for those heroes, and so they need semen.
                              Semen is given for free by Muslim men carrying made-in-USA rifles.
                              a little bit unilateral argumentation chain with emphasis on exclusive US guilt,
                              nevertheless the world isn't that simple.

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