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Are hookups ever gonna go anywhere?

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  • Are hookups ever gonna go anywhere?

    So I've been seeing this guy for about three months and we really hit it off, like music and stuff we vibe (which is hella important to me), politics we vibe, and we can just talk all night and it's cool. He comes over to my place like once a week (usually on the weekend) and he always spends the night. Sometimes I'll make him food or he'll help himself to something to drink in my kitchen. It seems like we mutually enjoy each other's company. We have yet to have a conversation about where this is going and now we're on break from school and he hasnt really texted me except once to send me some music. Btw im a junior in college lol. So I know the only way I can find out where it's going is to actually ask him, but I just want to know what you guys think it sounds like. Also I'm kinda scared to ask him cuz I dont want him to think im asking too early.

    Also he only texts me to hang out on the weekends and we spend a lot of time talking and laughing and getting to know each other in person, which i think is better than through texting.

    Thoughts please

  • #2
    I think from the looks of how you two are comfortable with each other, it's not a problem at all to verify with the other person about where things are heading. It's completely fine to know how/what things are gonna be in the future if you need clarification about it. He should at least know whether he's open for dating/anything serious or if he has any current priorities in life. Hook ups can definitely go to a more serious level, if both the people involved take active responsibility in doing so.
    If he fires back or is taken aback, then I personally think he has issues he needs to resolve because asking for closure or clarification should not be a problem. Just make sure you get your point across and your feelings go across as well. Good luck!

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    • #3
      It can, but imo, kinda rare. I think it's important to define the goal of whatever kind of relationship early on, so in your case, I say it's easier to just ask him how does he feel about you and what does he really want.

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      • #4
        Hopefully they occasionally go to the clinic to get tested, other than that I don't care

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        • #5
          yeah you guys are right. I don't know what I doubt even asking him his thoughts. It's a completley natural thing to do. I feel like there's this stigma (or maybe there's a better word for it than stigma idk) that girls are crazy if they aren't chill and always going along with the flow no questions asked ya know. Do you think that if he doesn't contact me for the rest of the whole break that that could mean something. Like perhaps hint that he really is just seeing me for the sex and to not be lonely like one night a week?

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          • #6
            And yes we both got tested and we are safe. Also he said he wasn't seeing anyone else.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by AlexandraVH View Post
              And yes we both got tested and we are safe. Also he said he wasn't seeing anyone else.
              That's very responsible but I was speaking in general.

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              • #8
                Back in the day I had two hookups that turned into extended FWB situations. But all involved were clear from the beginning that it was about sex not love so nobody got hurt.

                In this case it sounds like you have some feelings for him and need to find out if your feelings are reciprocated. If he only texts you to make plans to hook up on the weekend then he probably sees it as a "just for fun" thing and it's unlikely he wants a relationship.

                But he is the one that knows what he is feeling not us. So go ahead and talk to him.
                Last edited by ChrisShiva; 12-25-2017, 03:49 AM.

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                • #9
                  Good advice thanks

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                  • #10
                    From what you just told us, you’re interested in a serious relationship and you expect him to have a similar interest. The way it’s going he probably won’t make the first step, you should go and ask him directly to go out, otherwise nothing will happen.

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                    • #11
                      Depends on the situation, I have to say. As for me, I like online dating a lot and I have been using different websites like secret benefits. And the hookups there were really very cool for both of us. I had some great time with the girls from there.
                      Last edited by gradetracy; 01-14-2018, 12:52 PM.

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