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how to get acquainted so as not to be boring?

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  • how to get acquainted so as not to be boring?


    someone please help if you have an interesting experience when you meet the opposite sex

  • #2
    There's something called the Social Penetration Theory, but it is general. There are so many bell curves involved with people. Some engage in small talk. Some claim not to like it.

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    • #3
      talking is overrated in most cases, body language in all its variations deactivates 'opposite sex' fuses and not words.
      This is the significant difference between real date and a 'LDR' date. Nobody will let you closer into own inner without an observation of the entire YOU over a particular time. Maybe a Pulitzer price winner can make women's panties moist only with few letters, but a usual man doesn't has such gift.

      Did you meant that OP?

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      • #4
        I think he simply means how to start a conversation and continue it over an extended period of time without losing their interest, not how to get them "moist". Anyway, I'd humbly like to hear more "serious" opinions about this too. I can't say I'm very good at keeping chit chat on for long (that is, if they even answer me at all). Much less how to turn such chit chat into friendship or even rarer into love or caring or whatever. Unfortunately girls only like me after they know me for several months, so I've mostly given up on finding that kind of relationship online. But I must accept that for me even friendship is exceedingly hard to build here. (I actually felt happy once when I was chatted by a Gagahi.com scammer... longest chat I've had in a while, whoever that was... haha...). Anyway, there's got to be guys who made friends with girls that can actually talk about their experience?
        Last edited by Alverik; 03-12-2018, 09:32 AM.

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        • #5
          There is no a recipe how to be interesting. You are either interesting or boring, no in-betweens. However, the path from being boring to becoming an interesting interlocutor might be time-consuming, since it requires one to broaden their mind. So I'd rather suggest to look for like-minded boring people. Boring + boring = no one benefits, but no one loses.
          I am so good at giving advice.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Alverik View Post
            I think he simply means how to start a conversation and continue it over an extended period of time without losing their interest, not how to get them "moist". Anyway, I'd humbly like to hear more "serious" opinions about this too. I can't say I'm very good at keeping chit chat on for long (that is, if they even answer me at all). Much less how to turn such chit chat into friendship or even rarer into love or caring or whatever. Unfortunately girls only like me after they know me for several months, so I've mostly given up on finding that kind of relationship online....Anyway, there's got to be guys who made friends with girls that can actually talk about their experience?
            If you show interest in the other person, that usually works. Ask them about themselves. Listen to what they say and pick up on cues to ask more questions. Don’t use their answers to upstage them and talk about yourself. (Example: they went on a lovely trip to the next city and you upstage them by saying you’ve been to London 5 times.) Don’t talk about yourself unless you are asked to. Focus on them.

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            • #7
              do you know how they say "just be yourself"

              well do the opposite
              Why is it called a tourist season if we're not supposed to hunt them?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by RogerCarmel View Post

                If you show interest in the other person, that usually works. Ask them about themselves. Listen to what they say and pick up on cues to ask more questions. Don’t use their answers to upstage them and talk about yourself. (Example: they went on a lovely trip to the next city and you upstage them by saying you’ve been to London 5 times.) Don’t talk about yourself unless you are asked to. Focus on them.

                Have you read Diary of Jack the Ripper??



                http://teksty-pesenok.ru/yazoo/tekst...diary/1700827/
                Last edited by dmitri11; 03-12-2018, 09:45 PM.

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                • #9
                  It will all depend on if a person likes you or not, if they do, you won't be considered to be boring but if they don't, things won't work no matter how hard you try I think. Of course, people usually like charismatic personalities but it is hard to say how to be interesting. All I know it is wrong to act what you're not, things must be done naturally. Depends on your personality, looks, ability to communicate, sense of humour, etc..

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Etsia View Post
                    It will all depend on if a person likes you or not, if they do, you won't be considered to be boring but if they don't, things won't work no matter how hard you try I think. Of course, people usually like charismatic personalities but it is hard to say how to be interesting. All I know it is wrong to act what you're not, things must be done naturally. Depends on your personality, looks, ability to communicate, sense of humour, etc..
                    Yes, and it’s always easier to make friends if you are good looking, healthy and of a naturally cheerful disposition.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by RogerCarmel View Post

                      If you show interest in the other person, that usually works. Ask them about themselves. Listen to what they say and pick up on cues to ask more questions. Don’t use their answers to upstage them and talk about yourself. (Example: they went on a lovely trip to the next city and you upstage them by saying you’ve been to London 5 times.) Don’t talk about yourself unless you are asked to. Focus on them.

                      The rule is always valid.
                      Don't talk if you aren't asked, if you're asked tell them always what they want to hear.
                      If you are forced to revealing of criticism, give them a big sweet pill before you dare to give them a small bitter one. While they behave like crazy mofos with intimidation, aggressiveness and shitty polemic.

                      Who wants such friends?

                      I think not everybody can be a friend of everyone and some people aren't able to be friends at all.
                      Hence I think it's not worth the time to invest your attention into somebody where you have the feel, it isn't a person whom I want to talk and giving a little bit of trust.
                      Last edited by Hades91; 03-13-2018, 08:48 PM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                        The rule is always valid.
                        Don't talk if you aren't asked, if you're asked tell them always what they want to hear.
                        If you are forced to revealing of criticism, give them a big sweet pill before you dare to give them a small bitter one. While they behave like crazy mofos with intimidation, aggressiveness and shitty polemic.

                        Who wants such friends?

                        I think not everybody can be a friend of everyone and some people aren't able to be friends at all.
                        Hence I think it's not worth the time to invest your attention into somebody where you have the feel, it isn't a person whom I want to talk and giving a little bit of trust.
                        You’ve gone overboard! The guy whose question I answered just wanted some ideas on how to keep a conversation going.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RogerCarmel View Post

                          You’ve gone overboard! The guy whose question I answered just wanted some ideas on how to keep a conversation going.

                          Oh sorry I forgot the exclusively copyright clause for unauthorized expanding of your comments.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                            Oh sorry I forgot the exclusively copyright clause for unauthorized expanding of your comments.
                            You may expand all you want. I’m just making sure you understand that I wasn’t giving advice on how to maintain a friendship, I was giving advice to someone who asked how to keep a conversation going. You and I are talking about two different things. Apples and oranges, as the saying goes.

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                            • #15
                              Thanks, Roger, that actually helped a bit. Though, my first try ended up a bit bad... I've always believed in reciprocity, so, I strangely feel it would be rude not to share my experiences too... (ie: Do you like games? I personally like X.). So I tried to do as you said and just asked about this girl's hobbies, in this case videos games, I personally love video games but I tried to hold my tongue and just listen, but I guess eventually it ended up feeling like a questionnaire, and it got me blocked, haha. still, it lasted much longer than usual. I guess, I have much to learn. Just wish more people would ask me questions, but it's probably like what some people have said, if they're not interested in you, there's nothing you can do about it.
                              Last edited by Alverik; 03-14-2018, 02:07 AM.

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