Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why are we choosing wrong partners?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Why are we choosing wrong partners?

    Interesting topic to discuss and to exercise english? I'm one of them... always choosing wrong partner
    Please read an article... full article on link below
    "The search for a soul mate is one of the imperatives of our times. It is equally important as the social status or successful career. But , most of the people search for their soul mates at the wrong place, being next to those who are in a way toxic , but are always there. As the time goes by, both men and women are getting used to the fact that they are being attracted by the wrong people, but psychotherapist, Dr Zoran Milivojevic says that this doesn't have to last forever..."
    Last edited by DraganM; 04-15-2018, 03:57 PM.

  • #2
    Because people look for the type of partner they think they want, but not necessarily one that they need or good for them.

    Comment


    • #3
      Because love makes blind.
      Last edited by LadyJosh; 04-16-2018, 10:25 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        I agree that choosing the wrong partners is often caused by one's own behavioral habits. And of course it's hard to consider the choices objectively when the strong feelings of love rush over. And later when the hormonal phase calms down people usually realize if they've made the wrong choice. Also people change themselves. I think some people these days (in a western culture especially) seem to be after strong emotions and passion and think that love is always a bed of roses. But when the "falling in love" should turn into a "steady everyday love", many people seem to find it boring and feel like the passion's gone and start questioning if the partner is right.
        My opinion is, that in a long run loving someone is a choice and love requires work.
        Last edited by SnowFox; 04-21-2018, 12:37 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by SnowFox View Post
          I agree that choosing the wrong partners is often caused by one's own behavioral habits. And of course it's hard to consider the choices objectively when the strong feelings of love rush over. And later when the hormonal phase calms down people usually realize if they've made the wrong choice. Also people change themselves. I think some people these days (in a western culture especially) seem to be after strong emotions and passion and think that love is always a path of roses. But when the "falling in love" should turn into a "steady everyday love", many people seem to find it boring and feel like the passion's gone and start questioning if the partner is right.
          My opinion is, that in a long run loving someone is a choice and love requires work.
          You make some excellent points. During the infatuation stage of falling in love your brain is being flooded by dopamine, serotonin and other feel good chemicals. But over time that type of chemically fueled "love" decreases and romantic partners are going to need other things, like personal compatibility, shared values and goals, to maintain a happy, functioning relationship.

          Yet the images we receive from movies, songs and pop culture in general is that "love conquers all" and some people get married and start having kids even when their relationship is obviously not a healthy one. That type of dysfunctional "love" is bound to fail in the long term.
          Last edited by ChrisShiva; 04-21-2018, 01:39 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            I'm glad that people give their comments on this post I've just started..., so I will give a comment too... In my opinion, many people try to make their own marriage (and family) to be similar like family they have in childhood... It's process that some people can't control... Final goal for one spouse is to make relations between husband and wife the same like they was in past between his (her) mother and father. And...this unconscious tendency (for girls) to find a husband similar like her father was... and for men, to find a wife similar like his mother was... is something that can make big problems, especially if their parents are not so good model to follow.... And I think that in some cases, people choose wrong partner because of that...
            Last edited by DraganM; 04-21-2018, 09:20 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              you should date at least for few months to get to know real person. most people are on best behavior to start. what they say about them selfs may not be true in reallity. have idea of the sort of person you want to seltle with. i have a check list. its not to find the perfect woman, to help me find a woman who i could say yes to and be happy.

              Comment


              • #8
                It is caused due to you loved him too much and loose yourself. Yes. The same someone wrote above :" love makes blind", love or marriage broken is due to they are differrent, misunderstand, not respect, get patriarchal behaviours or told lie to each other. Or simple, maybe you found a right man, but he doesnt love you, then it is become wrong man too. Or a man who always want other people follow him, love him, surpport him, make him feel comfortable, joly happy.... but never think for other people thoughts and situations. A man who always get angry when you not make him happy, not serve him, an ambition man and selfish... all is wrong.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Because the right one isn't exist.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Because most women are crazy after dominant assholes. As man once you're inside such an asshole program but you change it to normal, you get immediately dumped. If you remain in your arrogant asshole mode then you lose the respect to the girl because she appears too submissive and childish. If you went into a relationship with normal guy program, you get maybe few nights, but emotional attraction will not happen in long run.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      That's because we believe we are seeking happiness in love, but what we are really looking after is familiarity. We try to recreate within our adult relationships, the feelings we know very well from our childhood, which were rarely limited to just tenderness and care.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DraganM View Post
                        I'm glad that people give their comments on this post I've just started..., so I will give a comment too... In my opinion, many people try to make their own marriage (and family) to be similar like family they have in childhood... It's process that some people can't control... Final goal for one spouse is to make relations between husband and wife the same like they was in past between his (her) mother and father. And...this unconscious tendency (for girls) to find a husband similar like her father was... and for men, to find a wife similar like his mother was... is something that can make big problems, especially if their parents are not so good model to follow.... And I think that in some cases, people choose wrong partner because of that...
                        ​I agree with you. Family environment is our driver in future life. But not only it, I think that we inherit from our parents outlook, behavior, personality traits, emotional traits. So often, the model of our behavior is laid at birth and fixed in childhood by family environment. If so, then - is the choice of wrong partner inevitable? Can it be overcome?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Because most people don't accept or offer falling in complete love anymore.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Because we tend to choose own projections of partners instead partners.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by loony-moonchild View Post
                              Because people look for the type of partner they think they want, but not necessarily one that they need or good for them.
                              /thread.
                              I've been noticing A LOT of folks choose people based on what they don't see in themselves rather than who will help them grow, and whatnot.
                              Also I recently read, many folks are willing to settle, when the person who had wanted them first had already moved on.
                              I learned this myself sometime ago, when I had dated a guy "out of my league," who actually turned out to be egocentric, mocking, and rude.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X