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Chance for love at an age where peers already have children

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  • Chance for love at an age where peers already have children

    Time in which most people make acquaintances it's between the ages of 20 and 30.
    Studies,schools and works.
    In this period of time I had to deal with anxiety neurosis and social phobia,and I could not take care of the relationship with the surroundings.
    Now that I feel a bit better because of medicines,I feel that I'm late.
    Side effects of drugs cause me depression, apathy, my libido practically does not exist.
    I feel more and more doubt,lack of energy and will to fight,I do not like the condition in which I am
    but at the same time I do little to change it,because I'm giving up.

    Today I thought about what would happen if I could become a woman and met myself.
    I looked at myself through the eyes of a woman and...it was horrible

    I wonder if there is any chance for me, whether it is possible for someone like me to be loved
    and give joy to being present in one's life

    I do not think so but maybe someone has a different opinion and he can convince me

  • #2
    I think it would be better if you try to do something about your self image first. Not necessarily because "insecurity is unattractive" and clichés like that but for you. It must suck to tell yourself such things. If a friend would say things like "you are horrible" and "there is no chance for you", would that person still be your friend? Maybe you should see a therapist. You may start off with small things. Note down your negative thoughts about yourself and propose something more positive in return. Try to make a list of things you like about yourself and repeat it to yourself before going to bed.

    And ehm... I know tons of people who did not meet the love of their life in their 20s.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by LadyJosh View Post
      I think it would be better if you try to do something about your self image first. Not necessarily because "insecurity is unattractive" and clichés like that but for you. It must suck to tell yourself such things. If a friend would say things like "you are horrible" and "there is no chance for you", would that person still be your friend? Maybe you should see a therapist. You may start off with small things. Note down your negative thoughts about yourself and propose something more positive in return. Try to make a list of things you like about yourself and repeat it to yourself before going to bed.

      And ehm... I know tons of people who did not meet the love of their life in their 20s.
      It's just you has great healing power. You should think about a future in ... It's the begin of your medical career.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by LadyJosh View Post
        Try to make a list of things you like about yourself and repeat it to yourself before going to bed.
        I've been trying to make this list since yesterday but this is an extremely difficult task ...just one,first thing,hmmm...

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        • #5
          I have a lotttttttt of idea.....want to know?

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          • #6
            I think that there is always chance for it to happen, even though it may not be so easy. I have similar problem but for other reasons. My thread on this subject could be called: chance for love at the age where peers already have grandchildren.
            I observe that it is hard to change anything when one gets used to the state of being single for a long period. And if someone lacks previous experience with relationships, it is even harder.
            I still live with my parents at my age, which is a shame, but it is just how it is at present.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Josef70 View Post
              I think that there is always chance for it to happen, even though it may not be so easy. I have similar problem but for other reasons. My thread on this subject could be called: chance for love at the age where peers already have grandchildren.
              I observe that it is hard to change anything when one gets used to the state of being single for a long period. And if someone lacks previous experience with relationships, it is even harder.
              I still live with my parents at my age, which is a shame, but it is just how it is at present.
              Do you have grandchildrens?

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              • #8
                Unfortunately not. I haven't got any children let alone grandchildren, though I wish I had any. Considering my age, I think that I have missed the train in this regard.
                Last edited by Josef70; 07-09-2018, 02:02 PM.

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                • #9
                  If the bride went to another, it is unknown who will be lucky.


                  https://photographers.ua/thumbnails/...istavka2cb.jpg
                  Last edited by dmitri11; 07-12-2018, 03:35 PM.

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                  • #10
                    OP, people wish for a healthy relationship and even if it does sound cruel, almost no one would want to solve such type of problems which in my opinion are impossible to solve by another person. You need to solve your problems on your own and then try to create a healthy relationship instead of looking for some savior woman. You can help yourself because no stranger would. If you don't do that, the chances someone will sacrifice her life for it are very slim. The problem is not your age but your state. You yourself mentioned depression, neurosis, phobias, giving up which is no good, you should fight for your better state not give up. Fight on your own, with close people's help, family's help maybe. If you give up, things will remain the same if not worse.

                    I think only very serious reasons can break a person like gross losses, incurable illnesses, etc...have no idea what actually happened to you that you're so depressed but you should try hard to recover first and then look for someone else because from what I've read, you're right, there is nothing attractive for the opposite sex you have to offer. I did not mean to hurt your feelings but I cannot just sing the tune that ohh it is OK, everyone deserves love blah blah...People choose and they choose what is attractive not problematic. If problems appear when people have been together for years, then it is something different.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Josef70 View Post
                      Unfortunately not. I haven't got any children let alone grandchildren, though I wish I had any. Considering my age, I think that I have missed the train in this regard.
                      You have missed the train Jo, it is simple...buy a new ticket, and go with the train..there is always a chance for somebody who still live and no late..it depends on whether they took the chance or not...

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