Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

If a man proposes to a girl and she says NO, is the relationship over?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    When your Dad got her pregnant.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by 7_up View Post

      Very necessary. Power in a relationship exist whether you like it or not.
      There is a difference between having personal power and having a power struggle in a relationship. A power struggle happens in a relationship when one of the partners involved in a relationship feels inadequate; Either through perpetual instigation by their partner or (usually) indirectly so because their partner's success in life. Those who try to willfully subdue their partners are not really powerful at all but are trying to overcompensate for their lack of power.

      As Margaret Thatcher once said it perfectly; "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t."

      A good article on the subject: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/b...-relationships

      What you are currently suggesting in your opening post is that a Man will give up a measure of their power if he chooses to stay friends with someone who they tried of have a relationship with. That isn't true at all. The man in question will def. retain his personal power if he chooses to be friends with her under the right circumstances. It only becomes an issue if there are lingering Romantic feelings involved, in which case we have a power struggle situation again.

      This is EXACTLY why most successful people look to marry other successful people of equal age. Both of them at this stage of life have their own personal power and as such, are comfortable with who they are as people to make a relationship work smoothly.

      This is also the reason why its concerning when we have older folks on this forum who are above their age of 30 openly stating that they prefer to date someone as young as 18. It feels like as if these individuals are overcompensating for their lack of power by dating someone who is currently at a turbulent stage in their life and don't have a sense of personal power.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Xodian View Post

        This is also the reason why its concerning when we have older folks on this forum who are above their age of 30 openly stating that they prefer to date someone as young as 18. It feels like as if these individuals are overcompensating for their lack of power by dating someone who is currently at a turbulent stage in their life and don't have a sense of personal power.
        Actually that is not the reason at all Xodian. You are just bullshitting, same as all other people who tried to impute in that with bigger age gap in dating/ relationships necessarily comes with some form of taking advantage of or overcompensating anything. Actually you are the one trying to overcompensate something right now by underestimating young girls / suggesting that they will let a guy take advantage of her just because they're young

        Comment


        • #19
          gendeng, ngomong opo kowe doel? ora nyambung, joko sembung dadi dosen, pasti ono sebabe lah opo'o kok OPne nulis iki nang forum cinta dudune nang forum psikologi.
          masio grammar kalimate OP elek aku ae ngerti maksude, lha kowe gelek mandang remeh pandangane wong seh, mangkane hal gampang iso dadi rumit ngene, nyong.. nyong..
          Last edited by green3apple; 01-10-2019, 10:46 PM.

          Comment


          • #20
            My girl said yes but left! So it doesn't mean anything hahaha

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Cheiloproclitic View Post
              My girl said yes but left! So it doesn't mean anything hahaha
              if it doesn't mean anything, why do you still call her 'my girl' (?)

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by jordan_rudess View Post

                Actually that is not the reason at all Xodian. You are just bullshitting, same as all other people who tried to impute in that with bigger age gap in dating/ relationships necessarily comes with some form of taking advantage of or overcompensating anything. Actually you are the one trying to overcompensate something right now by underestimating young girls / suggesting that they will let a guy take advantage of her just because they're young
                Did you read the article I just posted from psychology today? Or you just jumped on the first chance you got to take a pot shot with nothing to back your argument but a rudimentary fluffed up "It is so because I say it is!" statement? I gotta say, that is very childish of you.

                While its true that relationships with huge age disparities don't necessarily mean that one individual is taking advantage of another, it is concerning when an individual is ACTIVELY seeking someone as young as 18 when they are almost in their late 30s. It almost seems like they are trying to overcompensate for something. I am curious now as to WHY do you want to have a relationship with an 18 year old? Do you feel like you aren't your age and have more in common ? Do you feel more sexually attracted to borderline teenage women?

                Don't take this the wrong way, but people have a reason to question your motives when you are actively seeking someone who has just reached adulthood.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by Xodian View Post

                  Did you read the article I just posted from psychology today? Or you just jumped on the first chance you got to take a pot shot with nothing to back your argument but a rudimentary fluffed up "It is so because I say it is!" statement? I gotta say, that is very childish of you.

                  While its true that relationships with huge age disparities don't necessarily mean that one individual is taking advantage of another, it is concerning when an individual is ACTIVELY seeking someone as young as 18 when they are almost in their late 30s. It almost seems like they are trying to overcompensate for something. I am curious now as to WHY do you want to have a relationship with an 18 year old? Do you feel like you aren't your age and have more in common ? Do you feel more sexually attracted to borderline teenage women?

                  Don't take this the wrong way, but people have a reason to question your motives when you are actively seeking someone who has just reached adulthood.
                  I just came to disagree with your point that seems to be directed to me, not with your major point about "power struggle". Personally I hate bossy women, there is nothing less feminine than this.

                  And no, I do not "actively" seek for young girls, not everything can be so easily fit into certain boxes. I study at university and over the last couple of years had an opportunity to meet many younger girls.
                  And I get more attention from them than they do from me, as a bonus I look quite young, so
                  Yes in this moment in my life I obviously don't feel my age. Maybe this is how my environment affects me, maybe it's something else, I didn't really think about it. Also, there is huge age gap between my parents, even bigger age gap in my grandparents' marriage, so this is kinda natural to me, I don't see anything weird about age gaps in relationships.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Xodian View Post

                    There is a difference between having personal power and having a power struggle in a relationship. A power struggle happens in a relationship when one of the partners involved in a relationship feels inadequate; Either through perpetual instigation by their partner or (usually) indirectly so because their partner's success in life. Those who try to willfully subdue their partners are not really powerful at all but are trying to overcompensate for their lack of power.

                    As Margaret Thatcher once said it perfectly; "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t."

                    A good article on the subject: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/b...-relationships

                    What you are currently suggesting in your opening post is that a Man will give up a measure of their power if he chooses to stay friends with someone who they tried of have a relationship with. That isn't true at all. The man in question will def. retain his personal power if he chooses to be friends with her under the right circumstances. It only becomes an issue if there are lingering Romantic feelings involved, in which case we have a power struggle situation again.

                    This is EXACTLY why most successful people look to marry other successful people of equal age. Both of them at this stage of life have their own personal power and as such, are comfortable with who they are as people to make a relationship work smoothly.

                    This is also the reason why its concerning when we have older folks on this forum who are above their age of 30 openly stating that they prefer to date someone as young as 18. It feels like as if these individuals are overcompensating for their lack of power by dating someone who is currently at a turbulent stage in their life and don't have a sense of personal power.
                    What for a bad article about compensation.
                    This bullshit is similar to men who buy powerful sport cars because of their small pecker.
                    What is with women who drive SUV, do they have tight vaginas?

                    The psycho PhD in this article does completely to avoid the fact, that females have their sexual attractiveness peak between 18-24 and males between 29-36. Yes, I know sexual attractiveness isn't the only part of a relationship but it's a big one.
                    Powerful and successful people do what they want and not what others or public opinion is expecting of them

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by green3apple View Post
                      gendeng, ngomong opo kowe doel? ora nyambung, joko sembung dadi dosen, pasti ono sebabe lah opo'o kok OPne nulis iki nang forum cinta dudune nang forum psikologi.
                      masio grammar kalimate OP elek aku ae ngerti maksude, lha kowe gelek mandang remeh pandangane wong seh, mangkane hal gampang iso dadi rumit ngene, nyong.. nyong..
                      Kono ngmng karo bahasa londo..ojo boso jowone diketoke..

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                        What for a bad article about compensation.
                        This bullshit is similar to men who buy powerful sport cars because of their small pecker.
                        What is with women who drive SUV, do they have tight vaginas?

                        The psycho PhD in this article does completely to avoid the fact, that females have their sexual attractiveness peak between 18-24 and males between 29-36. Yes, I know sexual attractiveness isn't the only part of a relationship but it's a big one.
                        Powerful and successful people do what they want and not what others or public opinion is expecting of them
                        ... you won't get a wisdom at the age of forty ... a man begins to think with his dick.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Hades91 View Post

                          What for a bad article about compensation.
                          This bullshit is similar to men who buy powerful sport cars because of their small pecker.
                          What is with women who drive SUV, do they have tight vaginas?
                          The article in question doesn't mentions any of that. You just extrapolated those points out on your own. How and why? I have no idea. However, lets use your point to illustrate what the article is trying to say in terms of a power struggle:

                          I own a fast "powerful" sports car which I personally work on. Its a passion of mines. However, I don't use it as a status symbol to flaunt it on my wife and she doesn't has any issue with it being one of the focus points of my life. Why? She knows that my love for her is always there and my passion for working on and driving my Sports Car will never override my love for her.

                          As such, there is no power struggle over the issue of me owning a Sports Car. That is how adults work out a situation.

                          The psycho PhD in this article does completely to avoid the fact, that females have their sexual attractiveness peak between 18-24 and males between 29-36. Yes, I know sexual attractiveness isn't the only part of a relationship but it's a big one.
                          She didn't avoid that fact at all given how she made the point about the "Honey Moon Phase" where physical attraction and puppy love is all what a person thinks about. After that however, things start to get a lot sour once the relationship kicks into High Gear. And this is where the relationship starts to suffer; Especially if one or both parties involved are immature minded individuals.

                          Powerful and successful people do what they want and not what others or public opinion is expecting of them
                          https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...ong-had-better
                          Last edited by Xodian; 01-11-2019, 07:57 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Xodian View Post
                            She didn't avoid that fact at all given how she made the point about the "Honey Moon Phase" where physical attraction and puppy love is all what a person thinks about. After that however, things start to get a lot sour once the relationship kicks into High Gear.
                            There are humans whose relationship never survive the end of the "Honey Moon Phase".
                            Sexual attractiveness is only there to attract couples to eachother, to get to know eachother in the beginning. It is only like a packaging. At the end of the Honey Moon Phase - which is latest after three years - the packaging is unfolded and becomes unimportant.
                            Last edited by Suna123; 01-11-2019, 07:09 AM.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Xodian View Post

                              The article in question doesn't mentions any of that. You just extrapolated those points out on your own. How and why? I have no idea. However, lets use your point to illustrate what the article is trying to say in terms of a power struggle:

                              I own a fast "powerful" sports car which I personally work on. Its a passion of mines. However, I don't use it as a status symbol to flaunt it on my wife and she doesn't has any issue with it being one of the focus points of my life. Why? She knows that my love for her is always there and my passion for working on and driving my Sports Car will never override my love for her.

                              As such, there is no power struggle over the issue of me owning a Sports Car. That is how adults work out a situation.
                              The article you mentioned before, says that people with an inadequate power level to their age seek after much younger partners with similar power level, because they want to compensate their deficits. It's absolutely generalization.
                              This similar like generalization of males with big powerful cars need to compensate shortcomings in their pants.

                              In RL there is a lot of powerful, successful and respected people with 'too young' partners. Why so young?.... Because they can.

                              What those people feel and what they want is beyond my comprehension, I'm just since few days blessed to be in 30-ties.
                              Nevertheless this article says nothing of value for my opinion.


                              Originally posted by Xodian View Post
                              She didn't avoid that fact at all given how she made the point about the "Honey Moon Phase" where physical attraction and puppy love is all what a person thinks about. After that however, things start to get a lot sour once the relationship kicks into High Gear. And this is where the relationship starts to suffer; Especially if one or both parties involved are immature minded individuals.
                              Probably I have learned of my first partner I have been nearly 5 years together with, more than from anyone else in life. She was in her peak and "puppy love" is jus laughable, it was more "you have to be one on the top otherwise GTFO" lesson.
                              Puppy love makes a U turn when the puppy shits on the expensive carpet

                              Well, best couples argue while day and repair it in the night with appeasement sex.
                              Education seems to be the western answer to all problems, but it isn't.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by green3apple View Post

                                if it doesn't mean anything, why do you still call her 'my girl' (?)
                                What people say doesn't mean anything, but how they really feel might mean something...

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X