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Eye Contact(and other cultural variations)

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  • Eye Contact(and other cultural variations)

    I was wondering, what is eye contact like in your country?
    Do people maintain eye contact all throughout the conversation or is such a thing considered rude? Is eye contact intermittent, or avoided?
    I am curious, living in a country with several foreigners I notice eye contact here is expected but requires occasional pauses to not make it too intense, I noticed Colombians maintain eye contact for longer, same as North Americans, however the few africans ive met seem to avoid eye contact, which seemed unusual and made me ponder, such things can't be the same all over the world and posisbly in other places it can be deemed as invasive.

    what other cultural differences can you think of which very a lot?
    (for example over here, if you just met a woman if she was introduced to you as a friend a kiss on the cheek is optional, a soft handshake is generally the best way to go, once you are friends it's a perfectly normal way to greet and say goodbye to someone. kissing the cheek of your relatives is also expected, however between males it's only customary to kiss the cheek of your father or brothers and vice versa, kissing a male cousins cheek can just be a funny awkward thing since it's not customary)

  • #2
    Originally posted by ManfredH View Post
    Do people maintain eye contact all throughout the conversation or is such a thing considered rude? Is eye contact intermittent, or avoided?
    I've never maintained eye contact throughout the conversation so I dunno if others did lol.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Zirelelil View Post
      I've never maintained eye contact throughout the conversation so I dunno if others did lol.
      I used to think that only people with extreme shyness and social anxiety avoid eye contact. or autists

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      • #4
        Pathological liars become nervous as well by too long eye contact, even though their nervousness appears with different symptoms.
        Eye contact is important by partner choice. I like the feeling of pleasant, comfy insecurity when I look in female eyes. This happens not so often perhaps 1 from 20, but when I have it I know that this girl could be it.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Hades91 View Post
          I like the feeling of pleasant, comfy insecurity when I look in female eyes.
          well yes, predators always try to hypnotize the poor victim then that victim is starting to get nervous and panic thinking ' what? why? What? WHAT??' lol
          i wonder how to make eye contact with cross-eyed person, where to stare at

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          • #6
            Originally posted by al_si View Post

            well yes, predators always try to hypnotize the poor victim then that victim is starting to get nervous and panic thinking ' what? why? What? WHAT??' lol
            i wonder how to make eye contact with cross-eyed person, where to stare at
            No, this isn't panic... This is something like soothing excitation but not sexual. This feeling is mutual and I understood always with woman with whom it happened very good.
            Panic is something what get people with low credibility and self confidence when they feel observed and this goes never in the positive direction.
            I'm not a fan of metaphysical things and definitions, but I agree with the saying "eyes are the gate to the soul".

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            • #7
              Originally posted by al_si View Post
              I used to think that only people with extreme shyness and social anxiety avoid eye contact. or autists
              I dunno about them. I was just kidding I don't give a crap about eye contact actually. Rationally one needs just hear a person, the rest is optional.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Hades91 View Post
                Pathological liars become nervous as well by too long eye contact, even though their nervousness appears with different symptoms.
                There's also opposite theory that liars always look in eyes.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Zirelelil View Post
                  There's also opposite theory that liars always look in eyes.
                  However, spontaneous pupil reaction to challenging questions is by majority of people not controllable. Most people react with a millisecond long pupil closing impulse when they lie, because to lie is for them a negative emotion. Another one gets short bigger eye-pupils and licks or bites his lips very subtle because he feels positive excitation while he lies.
                  The other side of the coin is, when a person is avoiding eye contact, there no point to believe something what this person says anyways.
                  Last edited by Hades91; 03-21-2017, 03:03 PM.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Zirelelil View Post

                    one needs just hear a person
                    I don't agree, because even a person's body language tells much about him/her.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by murcat View Post
                      I don't agree, because even a person's body language tells much about him/her.
                      in some cases maybe... (though there's nothing important in "body language" in most cases)
                      but if my task is just to give or get information, it's usually excessive.
                      Last edited by Zirelelil; 03-22-2017, 02:58 PM.

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                      • #12
                        in my country Turkey,

                        ı never look womans eyes inside. because it means ı interest with you.
                        in here womans % 99.9 married, or engaged, so ı dont say good morning or good afternoon. ı dont want problem. womans generally looks at the place when they encounter men. man woman communication is very big problem in islamic countrys.

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                        • #13
                          In North America, eye contact is good. Not enough could signal lack of interest in the person or conversation but too much could be considered odd or uncomfortable. Americans generally interrupt eye contact and this should flow natural depending on the situation. If my boss is talking about something important then I maintain continual contact. If we are joking around or talking lightly then only occasional. If I am talking with a female co-worker then I tend to interrupt the eye contact more but then they tend to gravitate towards her boobs which I need to stop doing.

                          Even within a culture, eye contact may be valued differently between different categories or people like peers and superiors.

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                          • #14
                            ı never look womans eyes inside. because it means ı interest with you. in here womans % 99.9 married, or engaged, so ı dont say good morning or good afternoon
                            i find that quite ill, tbh. i find to be treated like an alien by certain people. in japan you should't look in the eye, at least not long for bosses etc. I noticed with a japanese customer that he became uncofortable when i was inniative and a young girl. in finland you should behave at all times like you'd have 5 km radius of distance to others wheter you have it or not

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                            • #15
                              Don't know if it's a thing for everyone here, I'm not sure we have rules about eye contact, but personally I balance it between looking in the eyes and looking elsewhere. Maybe I'm just weird, or maybe it's indeed cultural, but when someone maintains constant eye contact it sort of freaks me out.

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