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Introverts (an Extrovert genuinely interested in better understanding)

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  • #16
    I'm an introvert, but I do enjoy going out and being social with friends on occasion. I prefer to be alone most of the time. It is hard for me to have conversations with strangers and have a hard time looking people in the eye. It does take some courage. I have trouble with small talk. I also feel like people might judge what I say. When I walk across the room, I have this dumb feeling that people are judging me. I like lunch on my own, too. If there are really loud people at work, that annoys me a bit. It's like, why do you need to shout? I don't like being in charge and am more of a follower (hence why I decided I didn't want to be a teacher). I enjoy spending time with extroverted friends because I would rather listen than talk, and I don't have to worry as much about what to say. If someone chatty is being a little too chatty (to me), and if I am answering in one-word "sentences," then maybe take a hint that I would rather be alone, thanks. (Not in the mood to "muster the energy" of small talk I guess?)

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    • #17
      I'm an introvert and I'd say don't put them in the spotlight. You should start small like just stay at a friend's house and when you do that regularly you can slowly start going out with them. They'll feel much more comfortable in small groups.

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      • #18
        I "test positive" as an introvert, but in reality, given the right situation, I can be quite the opposite. Just depends on my surroundings. If everyone is welcoming, people aren't giving me the stink-eye, everyone is laughing, being silly (like at the bar with a group of friends), I can jive right beside everyone else. The problem is getting to that point as someone who doesn't like to go out and make friends. It's a vicious catch-22-ridden circle.

        When I was working in public, friends came very easily. I made plenty, went out and did things, etc.. When I started making money from home and eventually made that full time, the amount of people I talked to that weren't customers went down significantly. I eventually started alienating the friends I made when I was working outside the home and now I'm at this point where I have a couple people I talk to now and then, just barely.

        I think a lot of people classified as "introverts" may either be bad at making friends, don't know how, or just not in the right situation where friends come along. Eventually it becomes a way of life. At this moment, I dread the thought of going out and meeting people. I don't want to be in any new situations or around new people. Tis the reason I'm on here doing nothing, instead of out and about. Offering yourself and your time is probably one of the best things you can do for an "introvert" you know in real life. For a while there, my friends would force me to go out with them. It kept me sane and out of this funk I'm in now. I think eventually they just got tired of having to push me and our friendships faded. We're still friends on Facebook/etc, but we don't go out and barely talk anymore. I forgot where I was going with this, but I'm sure it would have been grand.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by murcat View Post

          Bullshit. Introverts remain introverts for a lifetime, they can never change to extraverts and vice versa whenever it becomes convenient , because it's a person's inborn state of mind, just like a choleric person will never be a melancholic one.

          I was a big introvert and am new a big extrovert. That being said, I have went through neurological and mental issues in the interim, so maybe my brain has actually changed. I used to not be able to speak in public, now I can speak in front of thousands with no problem (I want to run for office someday). I used to be super afraid to talk to new people, now I'm fine at it. I used to be too afraid to go on dates, now I'm usually less nervous than the other person.

          So it can happen, and even if you don't have a mental disease brains do biologically change our entire lives.

          EDIT: And if you say it's about energy not ability, that has changed as well.

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