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Draft of a Script for a Short Animation

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  • Draft of a Script for a Short Animation

    A mockingbird is flying in the sky.
    A song and music notes fill the air.
    Down, down, lower to a tree
    on a branch growing free
    to sit next to her singing mate.

    below, to a spot underneath the tree.
    first the scratch of pencil
    against paper, then the words,

    "How many ways are there to say,
    'I love you' to someone?
    A poem as one way?"

    "To share a special moment?
    A kiss is but a kiss?"

    "How many simple words are really, 'I love you'?
    Yet still I love you is to do and say nothing."

    Like the leaves, the grass is green,
    except a single bluebonnet near the tree.

    A girl is walking in the grass.
    A poem and music notes fill the air.
    She walks closer to the tree
    to pick and smell the flower.

    When silence once again fills the air,
    the flower is given as a gift
    in exchange for the poem.

    As they talk, words fly.
    Is it love to share a special moment?
    So she hugs him, and from him hearts fly.
    In exchange, he kisses her on the cheek

    They hold hands and walk away into the distance together.

  • #2
    How is this a script, or even a draft of one?

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    • #3
      my friend is an animator, and she asked me for a script. this is what i wrote after watching her example animation a few times.

      its a draft because i am still willing to change it, but also it is a draft because i was seeking feedback on something that is a completely new genre for me.

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      • #4
        This is not how you sit in this chair. Screenwriting is not a genre, it's a completely different format. I mean, if it's for your friend and not something for wider audience I guess it can be anything, but taking in consideration she probably won't be just one person working on it, you probably should discuss if she wants it written creatively or done in a more standard format, because script is not like a story or a poem, it's more like a manual which is used to tell a visual story or a poem.

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        • #5
          indeed. how would you write this then in screenwriting format? i will allow you to interpret it as the animator

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          • #6
            Here's a example (Not a perfect one, just a one minute change of main things).

            EXT. THE FIELD - DAY
            A vast wheat row hiding a hill over which a lonely tree grows (You need to give a basic discription of the set and objects that might be participants in it. Unless of course, it literally starts from the bird. Remember, you descriptions are basically camera angles and techniques, like when you say "A single tear falls from her eye", it implies a closeup on that (Especially if you put TEAR in caps), when you say "there's something in his hand" it implies camera concetration on that, when it's "And open field stretching into horizon" it implies establishing shot, while "The bird is flying through the field, past wheat and forward to horizon" implie a moving camera.

            A MOCKINGBIRD (Whenever a new character is introduced, they are writen in caps) is flying in the sky. A (what kind of song, rock song, folk song, classic, or in this case, a bird song) song and music notes fill the air (What do you mean "music notes fill the air?" do you mean an actual visuallization of musical notes appearing in the air or is it a metaphora? In screewriting, you write what viewer can see, it means things like thoughts and vague metaphorical experessions are better to stay away from unless they are somehow integral to what you trying to concieve or you somehow planning to put them on the screen, and you describe how) Down, down, lower to a tree on a branch growing free to sit next to her singing mate. (Technically, how this one suppose to be written is, "The bird flies to that lonely tree on a distant hill. It lands on a detached branch next to her singing mate." Remember it's a manual first, work of literature third. Do write in engaging way, but never forget you suppose to be building an actual movie set here. Short sentences ("Less is more" is a good rule to follow, because in a standard screenplay, one page roughly amounts to one minute of footage (Usualy it means there are some dialogue on that page), concieving the clear view of what's and how going on, is what you are aiming for director to see). Underneath the tree, there is SOMEONE laying next to a piece of paper. A hand is scratching with a pencil on that piece. The words, like a came alive cartoon characters, jump down from its tip and onto the paper, doning written shapes. (All of what I've wrote is a Visual, a literal idea for how this scene can be put alive and original with some surreal imagery like that. In film, that would cost Monei for special effects, in animation it's a bit simplier).
            (Now next here, for the sake of demonstration, I'm going to presume the words are read out loud, therefore, it's a dialogue/monologue, something read by an actor)

            NARRATOR (If it's a named character that is reading it, someone who is introduced before, you put V.O. (Voiceover) next to his name in case the character is not presented in the scene at all, or O.S. (Off screen) if the character is presented but not currently in the camera view).
            How many ways are there to say,
            'I love you' to someone?
            A poem as one way?"
            To share a special moment?
            A kiss is but a kiss?


            In overall, I'd suggest you'd search for spec scripts on internet and check a couple of basic articles in places like Screenrant (Also download a screenwriting programs that take care of technicalities, like spaces and repeating same locations, and etc. Final Draft can be easily found cracked around the internet). I don't say, go by the letter, I myself don't believe in that (And it's always different again wether you writing something for yourself to direct, for you friend or for an agent at WB to see, get excited about and buy), but the point of it is that you need to simply understand technical basics and how this car rides. Then, after,when you understand that, as long as that doesn't prevent a driver from riding this car and doesn't create unnecessary obstacles on his ride, you can, by your own judgement, design and pimp this car however you like.

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            • #7
              I like what you wrote about my poem. I was just imaging a penciled bird flying on an empty page. The wording is supposed to be vague / double edged so anyone can interpret it differently. So I will keep writing it my way instead of screenwriting format.

              This is the animation I was influenced by:

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